Where do you belong?
When the world comes tumbling down around you, who will be there for you no matter what? ‘Blood is thicker than water,’ they say.
During these days of pandemic restrictions, I have enjoyed connecting online with extended family members in both Australia and the United Kingdom. It’s fun to see a computer screen full of faces which look SO similar to one another.
I’m proud to belong to this network of people who all trace their ancestry back to one particular couple who lived over a century ago – the father of the gentleman pictured below.
Drolma
Unlike my story, Drolma’s forbears did not cross from one side of the world to the other in a rickety old ship that was decommissioned soon afterwards. As long back as anyone could remember, her ancestors had lived in the mountains in a district that is still written on Drolma’s ID card as her hometown today.
After she moved to the city for college, she met some Christians. Lonely, frustrated and confused, she was glad to go along to parties they organised. In the spring break, she helped out with some of their charity work. Before long, she was a regular attender at their meetings. The day came when she decided to join their ranks and was baptised.
That was all very good and well until her family found out. “If you reject our religion, you reject your community,” her monk cousin explained. Indeed, the word for Buddhist in her language, ནང་པ (nang ba) literally means ‘home’ (ནང). To reject the one implies rejecting the other.
With tears, her mother begged her to renounce her city-girl beliefs. “I don’t mind you wearing modern clothes. I haven’t even criticised your haircut. But this? Go to the temple and burn some candles. Give them some money and say some prayers. Amend your foolish modern ways. You are Tibetan. You are Buddhist.”
Hard times
That was three years ago. Drolma was a devout Christian for a season. But after she and her friends graduated from college, they all went different ways and drifted apart. Drolma found a teaching position in a town closer to her family. Her position in the community there, once so clear with its responsibilities and privileges, was now uncertain. Nevertheless, she went home for the New Year celebrations, though as usual, she abstained from participating in anything too religious.
Then the virus hit her country. Her town remained unscathed, credited by some to the gifts given to the monastery, to the juniper burnt on fires, to the prayers chanted fervently and to the circuits some devout ones made one painful prostration after another around local holy places. The school in which Drolma taught did not reopen, and she stayed on in the mountains with her family.
The disapproval and pressure from her family and community was getting to her. It had been a long time since she had opened her Bible. One day, when her mother suggested that Drolma go with her to the temple, Drolma agreed. That evening, her father handed her a string of prayer beads. “Do your bit for our family, daughter. We need all the prayers we can muster during these difficult days.”
A forum
Drolma’s story is typical of many who come to faith in Jesus when they’re away from their families. Though they’re sincere when they believe, pressure from their home communities makes it hard for them to continue on in faith after they return.
I was privileged to recently be part of a forum discussion on the topic of ‘resilience amongst Tibetan Buddhist background followers of Jesus’. The group was made up of wise, experienced workers, one of whom came from a Tibetan Buddhist background himself.
The first question was this: ‘What are the greatest sources of pressure on new believers?’ ‘Family,’ everyone immediately responded. Whether overt or covert, the pressure new Christians feel from their home community is immense.
Fear was another source of pressure that was mentioned – both fear of not knowing how to navigate life cut off from family, as well as fear of reprisal from local spirits which they no longer try to appease. Pressure from local authorities was the third difficulty mentioned. But everyone was clear – pressure from family is huge.
‘What has been helpful in helping new believers remain strong?’ the group was asked. The response was unanimous: ‘Community’. Build community. Maintain community. Use social media and modern communication. Travel and visit regularly. Share stories of what God is doing amongst the community through recordings, booklets, or word of mouth. Whatever it takes, community is vital.
Culture
I am a fairly individualistic Westerner. I admire people who strike out on their own, take some risks and successfully create a new life for themselves. My father and uncle both did that in the middle of last century, which is why half of our extended family is now based in Australia.
People like Drolma, however, come from collectivist cultures. Her very identity is wrapped up in who she is within the context of her community. After consultation with her community, if she were to physically leave her homeland and make a new life for herself elsewhere, as many have done, that would be okay. But to decide as an individual … let alone to decide to reject her community’s Buddhist faith … now that is unthinkable. That decision is not hers to make.
Bible times
The people whose lives are recorded in the Bible are perhaps more like Drolma than they are like me. Community was a big deal to them. What an individual did reflected on and affected the whole of the community. Just think about Achan with his pillage in the Old Testament, or Ananias and Sapphira whose selfish choices threatened the purity of the early church in the New Testament.
The Bible teaches a lot about the importance of community and of striving for unity amongst the people of God. Jesus prayed for the community of believers in the garden on the night that he was betrayed. Love for one another was to be a hallmark of his followers. It was a theme that would be repeated over and over … one body with many parts; one building with many stones etc.
And yet community is very hard to build in parts of the world where there are very few believers, let alone amongst Christians who share a common language, culture and live in the same general area. Add to this the pressure that comes from a tight community in which Buddhism is part of the very fabric of society – a community that is reluctant to lose any of its own.
Pray
Those who participated in the forum discussion I mentioned earlier felt that community was the key to building resilience amongst Tibetan believers. But how do scattered believers become a community?
The third and final topic discussed in the forum – what could be done to help – was addressed primarily by the Tibetan Buddhist background believers in the group. “Pray for us. Facilitate gatherings and trainings. But don’t come in and lead us. Don’t tell us what to do as outsiders. We need to be insiders building a community of God’s people here. Please get people from your communities to pray for us too. And pray especially for our leaders.”
Hence this week’s blog post. I can never belong over there. I belong with my pale-skinned English-speaking family members. I am a welcome guest to the places in which Tibetan brothers and sisters live, but I don’t belong there.
Will you pray for Tibetan believers generally to remain firm in their faith despite the pressures of family and community? Will you especially pray for leaders of Tibetan Christian communities? May they have wisdom and provision for all the needs of their communities – material, emotional, educational and more. May Christian communities be well established there.
When hard times come … when viruses hit … when economies come crashing down … who will be there for Tibetan followers of Jesus?
May they have a place to belong.