Month: December 2025

This is an article I recently wrote for a network of cross-cultural workers. They published it in their e-zine, but it is fine for me to post here too. The photos I have interspersed throughout come from a more recent trip to the Tibetan Plateau than the one described here.

Below is a letter to my younger self, written to the ‘me’ that first encountered a Tibetan community while travelling with a group of friends in September, 2000. I was 32 years old at the time, and working further east in China. A group of friends travelled to key places on the ancient Silk Road within China. It is to the ‘me’ that was part of that tour group that I now write.  

Dear younger me, 

I am writing to you as you visit a monastery near the edge of the Tibetan Plateau. You have been deeply moved by the piety and self-sacrifice of devout Tibetan pilgrims, some of whom you met and talked with in Chinese. This exposure will change the trajectory of your life, though you don’t know it yet. As an older, wiser, and somewhat experienced cross-cultural worker now, I would like to give you some advice. 

Manage your expectations

First, manage your expectations. I enjoy your optimism and don’t want to dampen it, but reality will hit. Be forewarned. You are just one cross-cultural amongst the hundreds … even thousands … that have tried and will continue to try to bring the gospel to these people over the centuries. Yet where is the church? What legacy remains from the sacrificial service of many who have come before you? (There are pockets on the Tibetan Plateau where Catholicism is passed from one generation to another, actually, but not in this area.) 

What matters, dear girl, is that you remain focused on the God who calls you. Seek your self-worth and fulfillment in the One you serve rather than in the results of your service. Live a devout life, being authentically ‘you’ in all your interactions. Love others well. Perhaps God will use you in the lives of a few in this generation, just as he did through cross-cultural workers in generations past. Or maybe, just maybe, please God, he will give you the privilege of being a small part of a bigger movement here of his Spirit someday. 

Never stop learning

Second, never stop learning. You know very little yet, though deep down, you don’t realise it. You hold a position of ‘foreign expert’ in this country, and as a teacher of the English language, you are treated with respect and kindness. But the truth is that you were barely even aware of the existence of Tibetans until this trip. You have yet to learn about the huge range of languages and cultures amongst Tibetan people, let alone anything of the language and culture of this particular community. Your worldview is shaped by your Western scientific education. You hardly recognise the existence of the spirit world, though you know the Bible speaks of heavenly powers and principalities. Don’t be embarrassed about your ignorance. And don’t refuse to admit it, either. 

There are lots of ways to learn, both formally and informally.  Make the most of any training opportunities you find. Language learning is an absolute must, even if younger people here speak some Mandarin Chinese, as do you. Language and worldviews are intertwined. Ask questions of local people. Be curious. Set yourself tasks to investigate specific aspects of culture here. Take seriously the way that people ‘do life’ and ask for help as you encounter various challenges in life, ranging from matters as simple as dealing with a common cold to issues as complex as conflict in relationships. Above all things, put aside your protective shell of ‘I don’t need help,’ and let local people in.  

Use locally appropriate ways

Finally, share the gospel and disciple people in locally appropriate ways. You wondered when I would get to that which is so central to your life and call, didn’t you. Sharing the gospel here is not as simple as ‘walk up and talk through a pre-formulated gospel presentation.’ It may have been a useful tool in the context of your passport country, but it is not so here. Just be a devout follower of Jesus here and now, and as people in your circles encounter challenges in life, be quick to pray with them, to ask God to intervene, and in the process, to show himself as God. Study God’s word with local people in whatever format is available. And pray. Pray long, pray hard, and pray in community with others.

Absolutely as early as possible in the journey of local people to faith in Jesus, connect seekers with other Tibetan believers. Yes, I know that there are very few Tibetan believers, and probably none in this community. Yet however fragile and scattered the community, new believers in Jesus need to be part of a network in which they can support, advise, encourage and challenge one another as they face the inevitable temptations unique to these people to slip away from their faith in Jesus. You don’t ‘get it.’ You are an outsider here, and always will be, no matter how well loved and accepted you become.  As best you can, avoid even unwittingly putting a foreign stamp on local expressions of Christian faith. Support new believers in (1) thinking through locally relevant issues such as to what extent to participate in religious aspects of local festivals, (2) examining relevant Biblical teaching and precedents, and then (3) prayerfully making their own decisions for the embryonic Tibetan Christian church. 

Dear 32-year-old me, you will discover that life will not turn out as you expect. It’ll be okay. Just go with the flow, keep your focus on God, and take each twist and turn of life as it comes. It’s God’s mission (‘Missio Dei’) and you have just a small part in it. Let God direct your steps. In all things, and particularly as far as Tibetan matters are concerned, keep these three points in mind: 

1.Manage your expectations

2. Be a lifelong learner

3. Facilitate locally appropriate evangelism and discipleship

I wish you well. 

58-year-old me, who still has much to learn

Does culture impact our understanding of Scripture? Does the culture of God’s Kingdom override earthly cultures, or do they intersect?

These are big questions. I won’t attempt an answer in this blog post, but want to consider, in broad brush strokes, one key difference between ‘Asian culture’ and ‘Western culture,’ and how this potentially impacts discipleship.

I’m not an expert. However, I recently read a helpful article* written by a Korean Christian leader living in America. He is an expert. Dr Park (the author) made six good points, the first of which has stimulated the creation of this blog post. Writing this post helps me process what I’m reading. If it helps anyone else, that’s a bonus.

Collectivism / Individualism

It’s a massive over-generalisation to say that Asians have collective worldviews and Westerners have individualistic worldviews. Besides that, many people grow up in cross-cultural families and blend the two worldviews. Furthermore, this statement ignores people from other parts of the world which are neither Asian nor Western. Nevertheless, I found it helpful to think about the differences Park raised.

A person with a collective worldview sees themself primarily as part of a bigger community. Some of my Asian friends, for example, want to meet my mother when they come to my corner of the world, and sometimes even present her with gifts. They don’t see me primarily as an individual, but as part of a family unit. (They also honour the generations above, but that’s a story for a blog post on filial piety.)

A person with an individualistic worldview, however, sees themself primarily as an individual. Yes, they are part of communities, but the emphasis is on the self. Concepts such as ‘finding yourself’ and ‘living authentically,’ regardless of the opinions of or impact upon family members, reflect such individualism.

Potential for tension

Is collectivism better than individualism? Or is individualism better than collectivism?

The answer to both questions is ‘no.’ There is a time and a place for each.

However, when the two worldviews collide, there can be tension. An Asian teenager growing up in a Western country may find it frustrating that their parents think that they should approve their career choice. The Western environment in which the teen studies focuses on the individual, while the Asian parents see the student as part of a wider family network and that they, the parents, have responsibilities for their child’s choice of career. A Westerner working in Asia may find it frustrating when colleagues expect them to tutor their kids in English. The foreigner thinks they have befriended an individual, while the Asian colleague understands the relationship to include the whole family.

A Biblical Worldview

What does the Bible teach about collectivism and individualism?

The Bible teaches and models both worldviews. Let’s consider Jesus’ view on the place of the family in the life of the individual, for example. In Matthew 8:21-22, Jesus advised a disciple to neglect his obligation to bury his father in order to follow him. Yet in Matthew 15:3-9, Jesus blasted hypocritical religious leaders for the way they wriggled out of family obligations and encouraged others to do so too.

Jesus’ relationship with his mother provides us with another example. At one point in his ministry, he seemed to disown Mary, identifying rather as part of the community of those who do God’s will (Matthew 12:46-50). Yet some time later, Jesus paid special attention to his mother during a critical incident in his life, entrusting her well-being to his beloved disciple and vice versa (John 19:25-27).

So should we prioritise our responsibilities to family, or should we put them aside in order to follow Jesus?

It depends. 

It depends on what God is asking of us in that particular context. It depends on the specific details of the situation. Navigating such matters is one aspect of discipleship. Mature Christians can help younger Christians work out what is right in their context as they consider Biblical teaching and the specifics of each situation, all of which is bathed in prayer. But in cross-cultural discipleship settings, especially, we would do well to be wary of cultural blindspots.

Choosing a life partner

Take the matter of choosing a life partner, for example. Or choosing not to marry. This is not a hypothetical example. It is a very real dilemma confronting Christians in many parts of the world.

I think of my Chinese friend ‘Lee’ (not her real name). She was single, like me, though younger. She wanted to become a missionary in the Middle East. However, she felt that she needed to first honour her parents’ wishes by marrying and having a child. After thus fulfilling her duty, she would be free to leave her child to be raised by the family, and pursue cross-cultural mission work.

Of course, it’s not that easy. Like the world over, the church was full of women. Men, let alone single men in her age group, were few and far between. Her non-Christian family, wanting the very best for her, pressured her to marry. She wanted to marry, too, but was adamant that she would only marry a Christian.

People like me (foreigners in that community) encouraged her to remain single rather than be ‘unequally yoked’ (2 Corinthians 6:14). People like me also encouraged her to pursue her interest in cross-cultural missions, regardless of her family’s concerns. People like me were shocked that she would contemplate leaving children to be raised by family members while she lived elsewhere. However, people like me came with individualistic worldviews. We were thinking of her as an individual, with the rights and responsibilities of an individual.

Lee and her family, however, came with collectivist worldviews. Her parents encouraged her to marry so that she could be part of a family network. In this way, someone would provide for her a home and a lifestyle in which she would never lack anything. They wanted her to have children before her child-bearing years were over. Such children would not only bring joy to the grandparents, but they would care for Lee in her old age. They saw her, and she saw herself, not primarily as an individual, but as a part of a wider family unit.

What does the Bible say about matters such as this? Is the advice of 1 Corinthians 7, and especially the injunction 1 Corinthians 7:39 to only marry someone “in the Lord”, directly applicable to her? Would her resistance to comply with her parents’ wishes suggest that she was dishonouring her parents? Honouring parents is, after all, one of the Ten Commandments (Exodus 20:12, Deuteronomy 5:16), and endorsed by Jesus (Matthew 15:4, Matthew 19:19) and by Paul (Ephesians 6:2-3).

How this story ended

In the end, through family connections, Lee met a kind man who was ready to settle down. He wasn’t a Christian, but was willing to become one if Lee required it. She did require it. So he came along to church and was baptised a couple of months later. We, her church friends, rejoiced with her, as did her family. The two were married.

Needless to say, Lee did not become a missionary. Her husband, while professing faith in Jesus, did not share her passion for missions. In fact, he rarely attended church. He had other priorities. Yet, in line with 1 Peter 3, Lee’s devout faith may yet have a significant influence on him.

What would you have advised Lee? My first reaction came out of my worldview. I saw her as an individual with the right to choose to marry or to remain single; with the right to pursue cross-cultural missions single-mindedly or to live for Jesus at home. Yet the situation for Lee wasn’t as clear-cut as I understood it to be at the time.

Conclusion

Lee’s story is just one example of the challenges of balancing the worldviews of Westerners, Asians, and that of the Kingdom of God. It also illustrates the complexities of cross-cultural discipleship.

The purpose of this blog post is to flesh out one area of difference between worldviews of followers of Jesus from different cultural backgrounds. Westerners like me tend to have individualistic worldviews. Asians like Lee tend to have collectivistic worldviews. The culture of God’s kingdom is neither one nor the other, but incorporates aspects of both.

If we’re not careful, when discipling others, people like me can end up mingling Western values and Kingdom values. I’ve done it myself. Reading Park’s excellent article on ‘Foundations for Asian-American Discipleship’* highlighted this to me afresh.

May we be alert for times when our cultural blinkers impact our understanding of Scripture. May we be especially wary of cultural short-sightedness when working with people from cultures different to our own. And may God be glorified as his people live for him, according to the values of his kingdom’s culture, in various places and times.

* The article which sparked these thoughts is this:
Park, Soo Min. “Foundations for Asian-American Discipleship: A Culturally Specific Framework for Spiritual Formation and Ministry Strategy.” Journal of the Evangelical Missiological Society 5, no. 2 (2025): 47–59.