Discipline, distractions and a rose-y retreat

When red roses feature in particular contexts, I imagine them to be God’s special touch. Today was no exception. 

It’s day one of my ‘study retreat’ week here in Thailand. Having a gloriously empty week between meetings, my plan is to work hard each day.

Not all day every day. Only half of each day. I am also looking forward to catching up with friends and soaking up the atmosphere of Chiang Mai. 

This morning, I plugged through college reading and note-taking. Then I went out for a haircut (a fraction of the cost of an Australian haircut), after which I intended to spend time in a favourite garden cafe to draft this blog post. 

Expectations foiled

Except that the garden gate was shut. It turns out that said favourite garden cafe is closed on Mondays. 

My brow furrowed, my lips pursed and my fists clenched. As I stomped down the winding alley, I confessed (yet again) to hanging on to my own expectations and plans. In this case, it was about something as senseless as time in a particular cafe. 

Surprise

Turning the corner, my attention was caught by a very cute little cafe FULL of red roses. Real roses decorated tables. Artificial roses hung from the ceiling. And what’s more, they had salty chips (crisps) on display on the front counter. I’m a sucker for salty chips. 

In I went, thanking God that his ways are higher than mine. Ha … such a lofty thought over something as mundane as roses, coffee and chips. As it turned out, the chips were for display only and not for sale. 

Sitting by a window, with the gentle chatter of young women enjoying a birthday celebration in the background, I enjoyed an iced coffee, sans chips.

And I penned the following thoughts about discipline. 

Academic discipline

Discipline is an admirable trait that I need to work on. 

In the early stages of the Doctor of Ministry course (which I’m almost halfway through), we had subjects to complete. They came with built-in deadlines, clear expectations, and I flourished. But now I am on my own. 

I need to ‘get over’ my bad habit of procrastinating. If I can’t, it will effectively mean the end to my dreams of contributing to God’s kingdom work through ‘thinking well’ and writing up said ‘good thoughts’. 

I could bow out at this point and the Australian University of Theology (which was a college until a few weeks ago!) would give me a Master of Professional Ministry in recognition of having completed all the coursework.

However, I don’t intend to do that. I most definitely will NOT do that. I am determined to succeed. But determination needs to be translated into action.

Help needed

So I paid a psychologist to help me.

She is a very good psychologist, and a devout Christian. I imagined that she would address my doubts and insecurities regarding my ability to succeed in academic ventures. Perhaps she would teach me ‘mindfulness’ techniques that would help. (She is the author of one of my favourite books: ‘Christ-Centred Mindfulness’.) 

Do you know what she advised me to practise? 

Discipline. 

Specifically, discipline regarding focus on my academic work for 20 hours a week, 48 weeks a year, for the duration of my study. And beyond if I am to continue making a contribution to the missions community in my area of interest. 

“Distraction is just an urge and it will pass if you don’t indulge it,” she explained. “Ride the urge.”  

Right. 

To be fair, she also helped me to think through whether this academic journey is important to me and why. And she gave me some good tips on overcoming procrastination, including its likely root cause of perfectionism.

Success in academia is important to me because I long to ‘make a difference’ in an area of Christian mission work that has been relatively ‘unfruitful’ up to this point. On top of that, I believe this academic journey to be a divine ‘call’. It is a call which is as real as the ‘call’ to cross-cultural work was when I was young.

I always thought that I would grow to be a little old lady in Asia, but was disappointed in that expectation for a variety of reasons. Nevertheless, it appears that God has work for me to do yet, albeit from my passport country. I delight in that realisation.

Discipline

These past few days, the theme of ‘discipline’ keeps coming up. As I prepared for our weekly BSF (Bible Study Fellowship) class this week on Revelation 12, themes included that of living for Jesus and resisting temptation. At the international church I attended yesterday, a Ghanaian preacher encouraged us from Colossians 3 to put off our ‘fleshly ways’ and live for God.

Basically, I need to just practise discipline regarding my college work. That is the particular application of all God has been bringing to my attention these past few days. I need to focus on academic work for blocks of time today, and tomorrow, and the next day. I need to repeat the pattern over and over, including once I’m back home in the busyness of everyday life (excluding a weekly day of rest).

In thinking about these matters in the rose-y cafe, I decided to try an acrostic, like some of the Hebrew writers did in the Psalms. I wrote the word ‘Discipline’ in a vertical line on the paper, then wrote sentences starting with each successive letter of the word ‘discipline’.

An acrostic

Distractions, you are temporary … I will ‘ride the urge’

Inviolable are the blocks of time I have dedicated to study

Silence the internal critic

Creativity in academia is crammed within culturally specified structures with which I am becoming familiar

Immersion in the data generates useful insights and takes a lot of time

Practise a little each day, rather than panic periodically

Let go of high expectations and just start somewhere

I commit to this practice

No excuses – push on

Effort will be rewarded if I just persevere

Putting it into practice

Friends, it would be helpful if you could ask me from time to time how I am going regarding practising discipline in the area of academic pursuits. Ask me, please, if I am spending 20 hours a week on it. I’m easily distracted.

Today’s rose-y contemplations on day one of this study retreat encouraged me no end.

Thank you, Sovereign One, for ordering my steps in matters big and small. Help me, please, to live well for you.