My heart-rate rises, my fists clench, my lips purse and my brow furrows.
Why is this taking so long?
A Promise
God promises to be “my light and my salvation.” (Psalm 27:1 NIV)
But it doesn’t always look that way to me.
Life spins out of control, One minor crisis upon another, interjected with major moments, Frustrated by finitude … again.
The Problem
Waiting is a problem when I believe that I am in control, When I imagine that the world revolves around me.
The Psalmist yearns to “dwell in the house of the LORD.” (Psalm 27:4 NIV).
Only there, where the LORD is seated between the cherubim, above the ark beyond the altar, Where the Psalmist acknowledges his small, dependent and peripheral position, Only there is he secure.
The Psalmist’s circumstances
Yet circumstances haven’t changed.
The Psalmist remains forsaken, Enemies snapping at his heels, Malicious accusations made by false witnesses.
Still he waits, Secure.
Our circumstances
In my modern, fast-paced world, Inbox notifications chirp, Phones beep, Social media drags my focus into a bottomless black pit.
Even so, with the Psalmist, I wait, Secure.
(Sometimes, anyhow. When my focus is clear.)
A Prayer
Teach me, oh timeless One, To dwell in you. Recognising that you are on the throne, my Saviour at your right hand.
Strengthen me, indwelling Spirit, To tune out the world’s falsely urgent calls, And instead, to attune my ear to you.
Help me, please, to wait.
And to wait well.
With the Psalmist of old, I declare,
I remain confident of this:
I will see the goodness of the LORD
in the land of the living
Wait for the LORD:
be strong and take heart
and wait for the LORD.
Psalm 27:13-14 NIV
P.S. You may wonder why there are photographs of raindrops interspersed throughout this meditation. The answer is simply that these are moments of beauty in the backyard which I witnessed today, just before a half-day retreat with a few sisters-in-Christ. As part of that retreat, we focused on Psalm 27. The link is simply the time and place in which these insights were gleaned. The pictures also break up the text. I hope you enjoy them.
Do you ever get a song stuck in your head? “Raindrops keep falling on my head…” is one I often find myself humming these days.
That’s what happens in spring in Melbourne. We get a lot of raindrops.
A new book
I recently bought a book of Bible verses to send to a friend for her birthday. I also purchased a Kindle copy for myself.
Buying a copy for myself was an impulse buy … I think. Or was it a Holy Spirit nudge? Where does ‘impulse’ end and ‘Holy Spirit nudge’ begin? These very questions reflect my Western worldview, and are irrelevant to this blog post. I bought it on impulse, and the Holy Spirit was likely behind it.
The very first devotion captured my attention. It was based on Psalm 19:14.
The Bible version used in the book ‘100 Favorite Bible Prayers’ is the Christian Standard Bible. Credit for the lovely layout goes to the Thomas Nelson Publishers (2020), page 7.
Hebrew terms for ‘meditation’
Pastor and writer Eugene Peterson has long influenced my understanding of the Biblical term ‘meditation’. In the classic, ‘Eat this book’, he explains the meaning of the Hebrew term ‘hagah (הָגָה – Strongs 1897), often translated ‘meditation’ in the Bible. The word contains the sense of gnawing, chewing, and ingesting, Peterson said, just like his dog would gnaw on a bone for hours.
The original Hebrew word used in Psalm 19:14, however, is slightly different. ‘Higgayon’ (הִגָּיוֹן -Strongs 1902) is also translated ‘meditation’ in English. From what I understand through the helpful resources provided by Biblehub (see https://biblehub.com/hebrew/1902.htm), this word is more like background music, or whispering and murmuring.
I wonder if ‘higgayon’ has the idea of ‘the background music in your head’? Or recurring lines and themes from favourite TV shows?
‘Raindrops keep falling on my head,’ for example?
The background noise in your head
Do you have background noise in your head? If I sit still and listen, I hear a high-pitched ringing in my ears, a residue of some treatment nine years ago. It can be annoying if I let it.
Tinnitus is not what I’m talking about here. I’m thinking more of the songs that go around our mind; the plots from TV shows; the self-talk that aids or hinders our endeavours; and the resentments or joys, hopes or fears of our lives.
Sometimes, late at night, I watch something silly as a way to wind down. Often I wake up the next morning with lines or music from those shows stuck in my head.
Is that really what I want to be meditating upon?
This, I suggest, is what the Psalmist had in mind with this prayer: ‘May the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be acceptable in your sight, Oh Lord’ (Psalm 19:14).
Changing the background noise
As for my ‘ringing in the ears’, a doctor once advised me to simply ‘change the background noise’.
“Keep the radio on but don’t tune it to a station. Just have static in the background, then you won’t notice the ringing in your ears,” he suggested.
I often have the radio on in the background, but prefer it tuned to a station. I can live with the tinnitus.
What about the background noise in our heads that comes from repeated thoughts and mental chatter? Can we change the background noise?
I am preaching to myself here with the following suggestions, but you are welcome to listen in.
Intentionality: May I notice the content of the ‘background noise’ in my mind.
Praying Scripture: A good place to start would be the prayer from Psalm 19:14, that the meditations of my heart may be acceptable in God’s sight
Follow the injunction of Philippians 4:8 to intentionally think about whatever is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent or praiseworthy. (The preceding verses about not worrying but praying with thanksgiving are helpful too.)
Easier said than done, perhaps?
One thought at a time.
‘Raindrops keep fallin’….’
In preparation for this blog post, I finally looked up the lyrics of the song, “Raindrops keep Fallin’ on my Head.” I also read about the 1969 movie for which it was written – Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. I learnt that it followed the true story of two American outlaws, ‘Butch Cassidy’ and ‘Sundance’. They lived at the turn of last century.
Composed by Burt Bacharach and lyricist Hal David, “Raindrops” is the film’s breakout hit and its legacy song; an upbeat and indefatigable ode to feeling free. It remains an irresistible earworm….
Their story is perhaps not dissimilar to that of the swagman in Australia’s ‘Waltzing Matilda’. In both cases, the men, likeable characters but prone to take what was not theirs, valued freedom above anything else.
That is the point of the song. It is “an upbeat and indefatigable ode to feeling free.”
And yes, it is most certainly “an irresistible earworm.” I have never even watched the movie and still I hum the song when raindrops fall.
Free
The freedom enjoyed by the lead characters in the movie for which the song was written was temporary. Unable to live freely in the USA, they eventually fled to South America, where they were killed in a gunfight. A watery end awaited Australia’s poor old swagman about whom ‘Waltzing Matilda’ was written.
In contrast, ‘if the Son sets us free, then we are free indeed.’ (Paraphrased from John 8:36).
And ‘it is for freedom that Christ has set up free!’ (Paraphrased from Galatians 5:1)
Free indeed!
Raindrops and ruminations
As I admire the raindrops in my garden, I no longer have only the first line of that song stuck in my head. The last line is now bouncing about my brain too.
Because I’m free Nothing’s worrying me
Now that I have spent time writing this blog post, the ‘Raindrops’ song is lodged more firmly than ever in my head 🎶.
