A vibrant pinky-red colour filled my mind.
Okay, so the first full day of our retreat pushed me a little out of my comfort zone.
I have great respect for the retreat leader, so please don’t hear me criticising his instructions. You can read more about him and the retreats he runs here if you’re interested: https://www.soulfulvision.uk
I was open to connecting with the divine but the instructions for the day caused me to squirm just a little. I prefer to use my brain to meditatively analyse Bible passages and so on. I like to be in control.
“Close your eyes,” our retreat leader said. “Breathe deeply – in, out, in, out. Now visualise a colour. That is your colour for the day.”
Where on earth would I find pinky-red objects to contemplate on this autumn day in England, I wondered?
I walked out of the chapel and noticed the fuchsias.
What is colour?
First, though, let me backtrack. Before we began our ‘visio divina’ exercise, we considered the nature of colour. Did you know that colour only exists because of light? Without light, there is no colour. Different objects absorb and reflect different parts of light, which is why they appear to be different colours.
Colour is significant in the Bible, though we didn’t take time at the retreat to think about this at length. However, as I prepare this blog post, I am reminded of the rainbow that God gave us as a symbol of his covenant with “all living creatures of every kind” after the flood. (See Genesis 9:12-17, with the quotation being from verse 15 in the NIV.)
Light shines through rain, breaking into the seven colours of the spectrum.
Our little group of seven retreatants (six of us plus the leader) emerged from our devotion on ‘colour’, all with quite different hues to focus upon.
Busy as a bee
Busy, busy, busy…. How much of my identity comes through being busy? Oh yes, I’m vocal about avoiding the word ‘busy’, and can be critical of others whose identity revolves around being busy. Yet the truth is that I often succumb to that temptation too.
I enjoyed watching bees in England. Big bumble bees that bumped from flower to flower. Small delicate bees. And everything in between.
It’s good to be busy doing meaningful work. In fact, I often sense God’s pleasure as I do so. Like the bees, I drink deeply as I buzz from here to there and gain nourishment along the way.
Teasels in transition
‘Teasels’ … what a fun name. I sat by a bed of teasels, drab brown, magnificent in their own way but definitely decaying.
Is this where I’m at in life, I wondered? My productive, busy years already behind me? I’m not old yet, but certainly feel the limitations of focusing on but living far from Asia, and of a body that is increasingly demanding with its needs and sensitivities.
I continued on my contemplative wander.
Apples
I wandered through an orchard. Fresh apples lay on the ground or were caught between branches. I picked one up … only to find that the underside was soft and rotting.
Is that indicative of my life? Still looking reasonable from the outside but definitely past my ‘best by’ date? Oh what a depressing wander this was turning out to be.
Great God, do you have any word of encouragement for me?!
Rose hips
Red roses are special to me and have been so since my first cross-cultural adventure in India as an idealistic university student back in 1987-88. These gardens are full of roses, but it was a rose hip that caught my attention this day, in part because of its colour – a vibrant pinky-red – ‘my’ colour for the day.
Roses are magnificent, but after their showy display of petals have dropped, they can still be useful. In fact, they’re perhaps even more useful. Jam – syrup – tea – wine – soup – oils – not to mention the potential of new life hidden in the seeds within – and, er, itching powder.
I think about the various ways God uses me in my circles of influence. No longer am I able to keep up the frenetic pace that I did when younger, but I like to think that I’m a much better ‘thinker’ these days, not least due to my never-ending study regime.
In my ‘maturity’, are there ways that God is using me? Different ways to the past, but equally or perhaps even more valuable?
I think so.
Pulling it together
Through this meditative wander in the grounds of the retreat centre, I sense that I have begun to grieve the fading energy and activity of my youth and the frustrations of a body that has … er … limitations. Yet at the same time, I sense that God still has a role for me to play in his work.
Ageing sucks. But it’s okay.
Most of the time.
Well, at least when I’m in the right frame of mind.
That’s all I plan to write about my rosy-pink visio divina experience, but here are a few more photos from the day.
