Month: January 2023

“Pay attention to where is your attention drawn,” the retreat leader instructed. “What is the Lord saying to you through that?”

Bees. That’s where my attention was mostly drawn again. Plus some mushrooms and a bird later in the day.

Similes and metaphors – a simile is when we say that something is similar to something else (‘You are like a breath of fresh air’) while a metaphor is when we say that something IS something else (‘You are a breath of fresh air’).

The Bible is full of similes and metaphors. Consider the following quotes: “The kingdom of heaven is like a treasure hidden in a field” (Matthew 13:44 – simile) and one of my favourite metaphors, “He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge….” (Psalm 91:4 NIV).

Find joy in your work

Is it Biblical to enjoy your work?

The Bible has a lot to say about ‘work’ and a lot to say about ‘joy’. But what about finding joy in my work?

This bee – above – seems to be thoroughly enjoying its work of collecting nectar. And it is covered in pollen. I enjoyed watching a great variety of bees flit about the gorgeous gardens of the retreat centre on day four of the retreat. In the process of carrying out its own work – collecting nectar – it is also nourishing itself, serving its own community as well as blessing other parts of creation through pollinating plants.

Is it too self-centred to think that God could be encouraging myself to throw myself into my work with joy?

It’s not that I don’t enjoy my work. It’s just that I feel guilty at times for enjoying the ‘perks’ that come in my line of work. Travel (including this trip which was primarily for meetings the following week), time with special people, pursuing my interests of languages and cultures – these are just a few of the lovely parts of my ‘job’.

I’m reminded of ‘The Philosopher’ of old, who comes across as a grumpy old fellow but penned these wise words:

So I commend the enjoyment of life, because there is nothing. better for a person under the sun that than to eat and drink and be glad. Then joy will accompany them in their toil all the days of the life God has given them under the sun.

Ecclesiastes 8:15 NIV

What about bad weather days?

It’s all very well for bees to enjoy buzzing about the garden on a beautiful day, but what about bad weather days? And what about when winter comes and the flowers have finished? What then?

Though I LOVE my job (if one could even call it ‘a job’), it’s not all pleasure. I enjoy travelling, but dietary limitations these days make travel stressful at times, and my digestive woes often flare up. The first two weeks away are usually nice but after that I long for the familiarity of home. (I’m usually away for a month or so each time.) I envy friends with careers which bring financial security, though don’t regret for a moment my own career choices. I hugely appreciate the kind people who support me financially. ‘Living by faith’ is a grand old adventure … most of the time.

What, if anything, would the Lord say to me about that?

Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.

Romans 12:12 NIV

Right. Good point.

Pushing through

During a delightful wander in what is known as ‘Rosalind’s Forest’ in the afternoon of day four of the retreat (named for a cross-cultural worker who loved that forest), I spent time admiring two mushrooms. Fungi are soft and easily broken. Yet one had already pushed through the leaf litter and moss on the forest floor, without force but with persistence. The other was still working its way up.

I identify with these fungi in some ways. I don’t feel big or strong or forceful, but I can still be useful in God’s kingdom work.

I think of the Bible’s metaphor of the community of God’s people as a body, with the head being Christ (1 Corinthians 12). Some parts look more impressive, while others appear weaker, yet all belong to the body and each brings its own unique contribution. Similarly with a forest – there are trees and there are mushrooms, amongst other things. In contemplating this pair of mushrooms, I am reminded of the value of persistence in the roles that God has entrusted to me.

Fun times or not, just keep pushing on.

Joyful in hope, patient in affliction and faithful in prayer.

Up, up and away

I wasn’t looking forward to the meetings that I was travelling to right after this retreat. In fact, I felt quite out of my depth, and that was just through the pre-reading we were asked to do. It was a ‘leaders’ consultation’ for the agency through which I work, and I kept telling anyone who would listen that I didn’t really belong there. I was only attending because my team leader couldn’t – I would be representing her.

Everything in that paragraph is true, but as I watched this bird take off, I felt God’s nudge to do likewise. The retreat had been lovely, but this wasn’t where I belonged. Not for long, anyhow.

As our retreat leader had explained at the beginning of our week together, one retreats in order to re-group, re-strategise, then from that position, to re-advance. If we stay in our retreat positions, then that is not ‘retreat’ – it is ‘surrender’.

As the retreat drew to a close, it was time to pack my bags. God had work for me to do, and the following week, that work would be to represent our team and speak into relevant matters at the leaders’ consultation.

It had been a delightful week of practising ‘visio divina’ each day in the company of fellow travellers. I was very thankful to have had such a special week away.

And so, re-visioned, re-focused, re-energised, I said goodbye and thank you.

It was time to re-engage.

I dragged myself to the morning devotion on the third day of our retreat. It had been a shocking night.

Cauliflower. Too much cauliflower was the problem. Okay, so the root cause is my pathetic gut, which freaks out if it encounters more than a little mannitol … and a whole lot of other things. Covid considerations mean that there are no common serving implements. Everything is plated up for us. Although I had asked for gluten free meals, I hadn’t said anything about cauliflower. I have a new enzyme powder which I add to potential ‘trigger foods’ and that is helping for some things … but it doesn’t work for mannitol, I now realise. And mannitol is the culprit in cauliflower.

I hate being flawed. I try to pretend to be ‘normal’ sometimes, but it usually backfires. Like last night.

Life isn’t all hunky dory

‘Light and shadows’ was the theme for the day. At the time, the point that made the deepest impression on me was this: we shouldn’t expect life to be all hunky dory. I blogged about that in November when writing up an overview of the whole trip ( https://aussie-rambling-rose.com/2022/11/19/light-and-shadows-travel/ ).

As I prepared this blog post, however, looking again at my photos from the retreat, re-reading my journal entry for the day and meditating on particular Scriptures related to light and shadows, I was reminded of a few more insights. These are what I shall share below.

Light

The Bible has a lot to say about light. And darkness, actually.

I could write a l-o-n-g essay on the various ways that ‘light’ is portrayed in the Bible, but won’t. I’ll just focus on one aspect.

 This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all. If we claim to have fellowship with him and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live out the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin.

If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.  If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word is not in us.

1 John 1:5-10 NIV

When it comes to photography, bright light is harsh. Imperfections are revealed. Nothing is hidden. And so it is with God. When I ‘walk in the light’, nothing is hidden. All my imperfections are revealed.

I like to pretend to be ‘flawless’ in digestive matters as well as in character and behaviour. But the truth is that I am not. The cauliflower catastrophe had reminded me afresh of certain physical imperfections, at least. ‘Walking in the light of God’ does not mean ‘being perfect’.

Of course we are slowly but surely being sanctified, and there is no excuse for intentionally continuing to sin. We are called to frequent confession in the passage above. ‘Walking in the light of God’ means acknowledging our imperfections and flaws, and throwing ourselves time after time upon the mercy of God.

Living under the penetrating light of God impacts my relationships with other fellow ‘walkers in the light’ too. When we are open and vulnerable with one another, our relationships deepen. Not that we should focus on our flaws all day every day. Our focus is on our Lord and Saviour as we muddle through life together in community. We do not pretend that we ‘have it all together’ but we support one another.

A photography tip

I learnt a few tricks with the phone-camera that day too in which certain aspects of light and shadows are emphasised. We were encouraged to try shooting in black-and-white, since that removes the distraction of colour and emphasises other facts of the picture, such as shapes, lines, textures and composition.

The photograph above is obviously of a tree that has fallen over. Do you think that the use of black-and-white emphasises the lines in those poor exposed roots? I find this scene rather pathetic, but it reminded me of the way that the deepest parts of us are exposed in the all-revealing light of God. Perhaps I’m stretching the analogy a little far……?

I also photographed this flower, below, three times within the space of half an hour – once in bright sunlight (bottom right), once when the sun was hidden by a cloud (bottom left) and once in black-and-white (top). Although I adore the deep red colour, I actually like the black-and-white shot too. The rose appears ‘flinty’ and ‘steely’. In fact, it seems stronger without colour.

Diffused light

Direct sunlight is harsh. Diffused light is gentle. It’s kinder in portraits, too, as every wedding photographer knows.

In the Old Testament, God was portrayed as inapproachable in his holiness. But then, in Jesus, that blinding light was diffused.

Jesus was identified by both his followers (John 6:69) and demons (Mark 1:24) as ‘the Holy One of God’. The Holy One of God walked amongst us two millennia ago, and perseveres with us still.

We flawed and fragile followers of Christ have the light of God within us. We radiate the light of Christ to those around us.

For God, who said, “Let light shine out of darkness,” made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of God’s glory displayed in the face of Christ.

But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us.

1 Corinthians 2:6-7 NIV

Shadows

Shadows in a photograph add depth and direct our attention to the light. Shadows exist because an object is blocking the light.

Shadows are a frequent theme throughout the Bible too. They’re both positive and negative, depending on the context.

Shifting shadows

When portrayed negatively, it is the unreliable, short-lived and ever-changing nature of shadows which is emphasised.

Consider these two passages of Scripture:

Lord, what are human beings that you care for them,
    mere mortals that you think of them?
They are like a breath;
    their days are like a fleeting shadow.

Psalm 144:3-4 NIV

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. 

James 1:17 NIV

Protection

On the other hand, ‘shadow’ in the Bible often points towards ‘protection’. The emphasis, of course, is on the object that provides such protection – a faithful, unchangeable all-powerful Presence.

Consider the following verse in which the writer was in a absolutely awful predicament. (The rest of the Psalm fleshes it out further.) Even as his very life was threatened, he turned his focus to his God, in whom he found refuge.

Have mercy on me, my God, have mercy on me,
    for in you I take refuge.
I will take refuge in the shadow of your wings
    until the disaster has passed.

Psalm 57:1 NIV

What shadow do I cast?

Finally, I think of the exciting – though dangerous – days of the early church and the benefits that Peter’s literal shadow brought to those on whom it fell.

…. people brought the sick into the streets and laid them on beds and mats so that at least Peter’s shadow might fall on some of them as he passed by.

Acts 5:15 NIV

What shadow do I cast as I muddle my way through life? I was encouraged by the image of this butterfly – above – and the great shadow it is casting. It is such a frail little creature, and those wings are particularly flimsy.

I am frustrated by my finicky body … but that needn’t stop me from casting a decent shadow in life. In fact, perhaps our frail and fleeting existence serves to enhance the magnitude of the One whose light shines in our hearts and through these cracked ‘jars of clay’ (1 Cor 2:7).

Okay – so I am confusing my analogies here … but you know what I mean, right?

Hope

Life isn’t all hunky dory. Our world is broken and evil continues to wreak havoc in God’s good creation.

BUT there is hope that one day all will be as it should be. It’s not just a ‘maybe’ hope. It’s a certain hope for those of us who belong to Jesus.

One day, the Bible teaches us, all creation will be restored to our Creator. The book of Revelation has some magnificent prophecies about that day.

Will there be shadows in our heavenly home? There will be no more sun, no moon, and no night. Will there be stars?

The city does not need the sun or the moon to shine on it, for the glory of God gives it light, and the Lamb is its lamp.  The nations will walk by its light, and the kings of the earth will bring their splendour into it. On no day will its gates ever be shut, for there will be no night there. The glory and honor of the nations will be brought into it.

Revelation 21:23-26 NIV

As I cut and pasted these verses into this blog post, I considered replacing with ellipses the two lines about the nations’ glory and honour, since they’re not directly related to the point here. (An ellipsis its a punctuation mark consisting of three dots which show that something has been removed from the original ie ‘…’.)

But then I stopped myself. It’s not just me as an individual that lives in the light of God – in a sense now, and in fullness in the future. If I remove the sections about the nations, I’m behaving like an individualistic modern Westerner. That is is what I am, but perhaps that individual perspective isn’t the whole picture.

Anyhow, there you have it. A tremendous hope.

In summary

There is SO much more that I could write about light and shadows. However, this blog post is quite long enough. In summary:

1. Life isn’t always hunky dory.
2. ‘Walking in the light of God’ means acknowledging our faults, dealing with them as we are able, and pulling together with other parts of the community of God’s people.
3. Jesus is the only one through whom we can be reconciled to the All Holy God.
4. Shadows shift and fade but our God is eternal.
5. God offers us refuge in his ‘shadow’ even while chaos reigns around us.
6. Though we may be flimsy and mortal, like ‘jars of clay’, God shines his light through us to a broken world.
7. Our hope of eternity includes citizenship in the City of God … when life WILL be hunky dory!

All these deep and meaningful thoughts came from spending a few hours wandering about a gorgeous garden and old church. (Okay – a few of these thoughts were fleshed out further today and yesterday too, but all directly related to that day’s retreat.)

My frustrations with this fickle body remain but my focus is restored to a sensible place – the Father of Lights.

That’s the beauty of Visio Divina. It restores our focus.

A vibrant pinky-red colour filled my mind.

Okay, so the first full day of our retreat pushed me a little out of my comfort zone.

I have great respect for the retreat leader, so please don’t hear me criticising his instructions. You can read more about him and the retreats he runs here if you’re interested: https://www.soulfulvision.uk

I was open to connecting with the divine but the instructions for the day caused me to squirm just a little. I prefer to use my brain to meditatively analyse Bible passages and so on. I like to be in control.

“Close your eyes,” our retreat leader said. “Breathe deeply – in, out, in, out. Now visualise a colour. That is your colour for the day.”

Where on earth would I find pinky-red objects to contemplate on this autumn day in England, I wondered?

I walked out of the chapel and noticed the fuchsias.

What is colour?

First, though, let me backtrack. Before we began our ‘visio divina’ exercise, we considered the nature of colour. Did you know that colour only exists because of light? Without light, there is no colour. Different objects absorb and reflect different parts of light, which is why they appear to be different colours.

Colour is significant in the Bible, though we didn’t take time at the retreat to think about this at length. However, as I prepare this blog post, I am reminded of the rainbow that God gave us as a symbol of his covenant with “all living creatures of every kind” after the flood. (See Genesis 9:12-17, with the quotation being from verse 15 in the NIV.)

Light shines through rain, breaking into the seven colours of the spectrum.

Our little group of seven retreatants (six of us plus the leader) emerged from our devotion on ‘colour’, all with quite different hues to focus upon.

Busy as a bee

Busy, busy, busy…. How much of my identity comes through being busy? Oh yes, I’m vocal about avoiding the word ‘busy’, and can be critical of others whose identity revolves around being busy. Yet the truth is that I often succumb to that temptation too.

I enjoyed watching bees in England. Big bumble bees that bumped from flower to flower. Small delicate bees. And everything in between.

It’s good to be busy doing meaningful work. In fact, I often sense God’s pleasure as I do so. Like the bees, I drink deeply as I buzz from here to there and gain nourishment along the way.

Teasels in transition

‘Teasels’ … what a fun name. I sat by a bed of teasels, drab brown, magnificent in their own way but definitely decaying.

Is this where I’m at in life, I wondered? My productive, busy years already behind me? I’m not old yet, but certainly feel the limitations of focusing on but living far from Asia, and of a body that is increasingly demanding with its needs and sensitivities.

I continued on my contemplative wander.

Apples

I wandered through an orchard. Fresh apples lay on the ground or were caught between branches. I picked one up … only to find that the underside was soft and rotting.

Is that indicative of my life? Still looking reasonable from the outside but definitely past my ‘best by’ date? Oh what a depressing wander this was turning out to be.

Great God, do you have any word of encouragement for me?!

Rose hips

Red roses are special to me and have been so since my first cross-cultural adventure in India as an idealistic university student back in 1987-88. These gardens are full of roses, but it was a rose hip that caught my attention this day, in part because of its colour – a vibrant pinky-red – ‘my’ colour for the day.

Roses are magnificent, but after their showy display of petals have dropped, they can still be useful. In fact, they’re perhaps even more useful. Jam – syrup – tea – wine – soup – oils – not to mention the potential of new life hidden in the seeds within – and, er, itching powder.

I think about the various ways God uses me in my circles of influence. No longer am I able to keep up the frenetic pace that I did when younger, but I like to think that I’m a much better ‘thinker’ these days, not least due to my never-ending study regime.

In my ‘maturity’, are there ways that God is using me? Different ways to the past, but equally or perhaps even more valuable?

I think so.

Pulling it together

Through this meditative wander in the grounds of the retreat centre, I sense that I have begun to grieve the fading energy and activity of my youth and the frustrations of a body that has … er … limitations. Yet at the same time, I sense that God still has a role for me to play in his work.

Ageing sucks. But it’s okay.

Most of the time.

Well, at least when I’m in the right frame of mind.

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That’s all I plan to write about my rosy-pink visio divina experience, but here are a few more photos from the day.

This is part one of a run of blog posts looking back on a very special experience – a ‘Visio Divina retreat’ a few months ago. Actually, it would perhaps be better termed a ‘contemplative photography retreat’, in my humble opinion. I wanted to write these posts at the time but was in the middle of a busy semester, then it was Christmas, then I was travelling and conferencing. Instead I just scrawled some notes in my journal each day, and, of course, enjoyed a great many images which I recorded as photographs.

Now – finally – I plan to indulge in re-living some lovely memories and re-inspire myself to practise ‘visio divina’ more frequently. If all you do is skim these posts to enjoy the photos, I completely understand.

Before I get underway, however, let me describe ‘visio divina’, and address a couple of concerns some friends may have. Rest assured … I remain a reasonably mainstream modern Australian Christian woman.

What is ‘Visio Divina’?

The Latin word ‘visio’ is the same word from which we get the English word ‘vision’, and the Latin word ‘divina’ is the same word from which we get the English word ‘divine’. ‘Visio divina,’ then, means ‘sacred seeing’.

Before reading about this retreat, I was more familiar with the term ‘lectio divina’ – ‘divine reading’ – in which a passage of Scripture is read slowly and repeatedly and the listener is encouraged to ‘listen with the heart’. I understand that in many traditions, ‘visio divina’ involves the use of art or icons. We had a devotional time each evening in which we would use prints of one another’s favourite photograph from the day to focus upon and see what God would say, and which, in the retreat description (above) are referred to as ‘modern icons’. However, most of our ‘visio divina’ time was spent wandering the gardens of the retreat centre, the church next door or nearby forests. In that respect, our practice of ‘visio divina’ wasn’t quite like the more ‘traditional’ practice which uses a work of art or a religious icon as a focal point.

A simple internet search will bring up various sets of instructions for ‘visio divina’ written by a variety of experienced people. At our retreat, we were simply advised to wander and look for what caught our attention, then to stay with that image for a time. I’ll give some examples as I write up some highlights of each day in coming blog posts.

If you’re interested in reading one example of how to carry out this practice, here is a link to an example of both a Lectio Divina and a Visio Divina exercise with what is often considered an evangelical ‘stamp of approval’ … it is published by an arm of the Lausanne Movement.
https://www.lausanneeurope.org/lectio-divina-visio-divina/

What are the origins of ‘Visio Divina’ ?

‘Visio Divina’ is an ancient practice, and along with ‘Lectio Divina,’ dates back at least to the sixth century AD and perhaps even earlier. When you think about it, it has only been in fairly recent history that ordinary people like us … or like me, at least … have had the Christian Scriptures in our own languages. High levels of literacy amongst common people like myself is also a privilege, though these days we consider it a right. In my subculture of Christianity, faith practices are predominantly individualised and an emphasis is placed on the cerebral, but in generations past, faith was a far more communal affair with an emphasis on ‘belonging’. In past centuries, access to written Scriptures was limited, and the place of religious art, icons, chanting Scriptures, and hearing the word of God read aloud in community was more significant.

Prior to ‘Visio Divina’ being ‘a thing’, people drew near to God through creation, through symbols and other images. They may not have called it ‘Visio Divina’, but, as I hope this next paragraph will show, the practice of intentionally seeking God through the our senses, including that of sight – through creation and symbols, at least – is indeed ancient.

Is ‘Visio Divina’ Biblical?

The Bible clearly teaches and models a sense of connecting with the divine through creation (as we practised during the retreat) and through imagery (the more traditional’ way of practising Visio Divina). Here are a few verses to illustrate my point, but there are many more I could have included here:

For since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that people are without excuse.

Romans 1:20 NIV

The heavens declare the glory of God;
    the skies proclaim the work of his hands.
Day after day they pour forth speech;
    night after night they reveal knowledge.
They have no speech, they use no words;
    no sound is heard from them.
Yet their voice goes out into all the earth,
    their words to the ends of the world.

Psalm 19:1-4 NIV

The Jewish temple was rich in imagery, and was intended to point people towards God. It wasn’t just the sense of sight that was engaged, but also of smell, touch, hearing and, in some cases, even taste. The sacrificial system, ritual washing, burning of incense, the robes of the priests, the decorative features throughout the temple, the Ark of the Covenant (in Israel’s early years) and more – all these images were designed by God himself and given to Israel through Moses (Exodus 35-40).

And finally, Jesus, of course, time and again looked around him and drew out spiritual lessons from what he saw. Consider what he had to say about birds and flowers (two of my favourite images), for example.

Then Jesus said to his disciples: “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear.  For life is more than food, and the body more than clothes.  Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds!  Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life?  Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?

 “Consider how the wild flowers grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these.  If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today, and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, how much more will he clothe you—you of little faith!  And do not set your heart on what you will eat or drink; do not worry about it.  For the pagan world runs after all such things, and your Father knows that you need them.  But seek his kingdom, and these things will be given to you as well.

Luke 12:22-31 NIV

Two warnings

1. Test insights within the community of God’s people

Some people will claim that God speaks specifically to them through what they see. I’m open to hearing personally from the Creator through this practice too.

However, I am also aware that anything I hear / sense / interpret must be in line with Scripture. Furthermore, it is best tested by other members of the community of God’s people. It’s very similar to the situation regarding prophecy that the apostle Paul addressed when he wrote to the early Thessalonian church that they should not treat prophecies with contempt, “… but test them all…” (1 Thessalonians 5:21a NIV). We are a community. It was lovely to do this ‘Visio Divina retreat’ as part of a small community of God’s people and to debrief together over meals and each evening.

2. Worship the One to whom images or creation points and not the images or creation themselves

As a Protestant, some of my spiritual forebears took a stand against the abuse of imagery, amongst other things. Clearly, images, icons and nature should point us to God, but may they never become objects of worship in themselves. God decreed to the ancient Israelites of Moses’ day, “You shall not make for yourself an image in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below. You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God….” (Exodus 20:4-5a NIV).

The retreat begins

And so, after that long introduction, I am ready to start re-living the retreat. At the time, I wrote in my brand new shiny journal the following words….

Arriving this afternoon felt like a scene from a Sharon Garlough Brown book. (Sharon Garlough Brown is the author of the much loved ‘Sensible Shoes’ series of books, based around a little retreat group that journeyed together through life for a season.) We arrived one by one and sat around an open fire in comfortable padded chairs, observing one another.

I’d love to describe each retreatant in detail, with their very British mannerisms, their unique personalities and idiosyncrasies, yet universal needs and desires … but I won’t. For a start, it isn’t appropriate because they are not characters in a novel but real, live fellow pilgrims, and so I shall respect their privacy. And second, my aim this week is to marvel in God’s kindness to me and work in me. I hope to write some of it up later so that others can perhaps benefit too.

My journal entry from 27 September 2022

Introductions over, we were fed a delicious dinner then made our way to the chapel for our first group devotion. The Visio Divina retreat was underway! Over the course of the week, we would consider themes of colour, light, simile and metaphor, then pull it all together on the last day. I have pictures to share and stories to tell but this blog post is already quite long enough.

Here ends the introduction to a series of blog posts about a very special week late last September – a ‘Visio Divina retreat’.

Flustered, frazzled and unfocused … that was how I entered today’s mini-retreat.

Despite feeling frustrated by my messy mind, I dug deep, breathed from the diaphragm, and resolutely wrote in my journal, as a prayer, “Drop thy still dews of quietness……”

Of course, I can’t claim credit for the poetic image. It comes from a hymn written in 1872 by an American Quaker. The background to this hymn is quite interesting but beyond the scope of what I intend to be a brief blog post to share a short testimony about God’s gentle handling of this scatterbrained Australian.

‘Still dews of quietness’? I wrote those words in my journal in sight of a tacky manmade waterfall, drops of water flying everywhere until they hit the concrete and ran into a drain. There was not a drop of ‘still dew’ in sight.

The rest of the setting in which I wrote also echoed my attempt to wrestle calm within. I sat on the porch of the ‘Amazon Cafe’. In front of me was a carpark, at the edge of which was the waterfall. Behind me was a small but busy road. Motorbikes, cars and delivery trucks rumbled past. On the table next to me, a woman peered intensely at her laptop while on a video call, her Thai interspersed with English phrases such as ‘team leader’, ‘finance’ and ‘Asia’. Within me, my gut gurgled, demanding my full attention and a quick trip to the bathroom.

Still dews of quietness?

Trying, trying, trying … stop!

I came to this city for a conference last week. I learnt lots, had my thoughts stimulated and made some good connections. And now it is time to knuckle down and formulate some action plans. What will I do? How will I do it? What resources do I have? What do I need? How can I best steward the privileged position I have been given in terms of access to education and time in which to read, write and train?

This half day retreat is intended to help me address some of these questions.

A comment by someone I know caused me to turn to Isaiah 30 today. A full exposition of this, too, is beyond the scope of this brief blog post. Suffice to say, the original recipients of the of prophecies of Isaiah had tried so very hard to strategise well, use the resources and connections available to them, and pull themselves up by their own bootstraps … something which is, of course, quite impossible.

“This is what the Sovereign LORD, the Holy One of Israel, says: “In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength……” (Isaiah 30:15a NIV)

(I’m deliberately omitting the last phrase of Isaiah 30:15 which is, sadly, “… but you would have none of it.” Isn’t that tragic?)

Of what do I need to repent, I wondered.

The very existence of this blog post … as much as anything can ‘exist’ on the internet rather than ‘be’ something physical … is part of the response to that question. I have said before and I will say again … I have long sensed a call from God to write. Not to write big, important things … just to write. But I keep doing anything but writing because I’m afraid I can’t do it perfectly.

Repent.

Blog.

Stop trying to be perfect and just be who our Lord knows I am.

Ask for help

I continue reading Isaiah 30. The sophisticated political alliances of those foolish Israelites of the seventh or eighth century BCE crashed and so did they. The Bible puts it like this: “A thousand will flee at the threat of one; at the threat of five you will all flee away….” (Isaiah 30:17 NIV)

But that’s not the end of the story.

“Yet the LORD longs to be gracious to you; he rises to show you compassion….” (Isaiah 30:18a NIV)

“How gracious he will be when you cry for help!” (Isaiah 30:19b NIV)

Once the people had turned back to their God in this chapter, Isaiah prophesied a precious promise that is often quoted out of context. Isaiah gave a dramatic description of what repentance from idolatry and dependence upon God looks like. They defiled their idols overlaid with silver and gold (I wonder how they defiled them?!) and threw them away like menstrual cloths. Now that is an earthy image!

In that context – a context of repentance and trust – God promised, “Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, “This is the way; walk in it.”

Although I am just one little individual – part of the community of God’s people, but just a small part – I think it is fair to take this promise and apply it to myself too. When I stop trying so hard to be clever, when I repent of trying to figure things out in my own strength, and when I cry out to God for help, he will answer.

Of course, my situation is nothing like that of the poor afflicted Israelites to whom these precious promises were given. I’m well provided for and even have the luxury today of sitting in a coffee shop journalling. But it is a good reminder, nonetheless – Repent and rest; be quiet and trust. Wait and see what God will do.

Still dews of quietness

Isaiah 30 finishes strong. After the Israelites turned back to their God, things look up. That’s not to say that bad things don’t happen to God’s people if we walk with God in repentance and rest, quietness and trust … just look at Jesus’ life! … but the principle remains: God’s people are to look to the LORD and let him direct us.

I left the cafe and walked over to the man-made waterfall to take some photographs, partly for this blog post and partly just as a means of enjoying the atmosphere. I looked in vain for ‘still dews of quietness’ … but just look what landed right in front of me as I sat there quietly?!

A magnificent dragonfly.

Right there, in the middle of the water spray, by the wet concrete structure, and with the background traffic noise.

We sat there for several minutes, the dragonfly and me.

I think back to the way I started this mini-retreat, with a prayer that God would ‘Drop still dews of quietness’. In fact, let me share the whole verse from the hymn in which that phrase appears:

Drop thy still dews of quietness,
till all our strivings cease;
take from our souls the strain and stress,
and let our ordered lives confess
the beauty of thy peace.

‘Dear Lord and Father of mankind’, by John Greenleaf Whittier (1872)

The hymn-writer suggested that it is our ‘ordered lives’ which should ‘confess the beauty of God’s peace’ but that’s going to take some time, especially for someone who isn’t very organised. (Again, the background to the hymn on this point is fascinating – follow the trail from footnote 1 below if you’re interested.)

But this dragonfly will do me beautifully as a reminder of the beauty of God’s peace – of being still, not striving but just ‘being’, amidst the chaos.

Like those repentant Israelites of old, may we look to God for direction rather than to our own cleverness or strategies. May we find our strength in ‘repentance and rest’, ‘quietness and trust’.

And as we do so, may we hear God’s voice say, “This is the way; walk in it.”

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Footnote 1: The hymn, ‘Dear Lord and father of mankind,’ is actually part of a longer poem written by Whittier in which he contrasted the devout Quaker way of connecting with the divine with that of using intoxicating substances or other methods of whipping people into frenzies! Fascinating, don’t you think?
See https://en.wikisource.org/wiki/The_Brewing_of_Soma