Self-control in an era of instant gratification

The golden-wrapped confectionary bar is calling my name……

‘Navigating excellence in the art of living amongst a world of instant gratifcation’ was the subtitle of a book being promoted in the library. I took a closer look. “The authors argue our need to always feel comfortable, if not happy, has robbed us of achieving excellence in our own lives.” The book was written by two secular academics who use an ‘evidence-based approach’. (See footnote 1.)

I was interested to read more, but not today. Right now, I have work to do for a class assignment. That’s why I came to the library. But the book blurb got me thinking.

I swung by the supermarket on the way home for some groceries. I popped a poor excuse for a chocolate bar into my basket as I approached the checkout. At 85c, it was less than half its original price. But did I actually want it? Do I approve of the over packaging? Why did I even get it?

Our society has gone mad. Quite, quite mad.

Instant gratification

As I sat in the late afternoon traffic, the impulse buy called out to me from a bag in the footwell of the passenger seat. I pondered the proposition that our desire for instant gratification is hurting us.

Take me, for example. Why do I allow myself to be sucked into the vortex of unproductive time on social media? (Limited time there is okay, in my humble opinion.) Why do I feed my body sugar and fat in forms that have no nutritional value? I would have have enjoyed blueberries and yoghurt much more than the ridiculous honeycomb bar I just bought. Why do I sit in front of the TV when the exercise machine beckons from the corner?

A spirit of self-discipline

That was yesterday. This morning, in my morning devotion, using an online Ignatian resource called Pray As You Go, I spent time in 2 Timothy 1. A British voice read these words: “… for God did not give us a spirit of cowardice, but rather a spirit of power and of love and of self-discipline” (2 Timothy 1:7).The word ‘self-discipline’ caught my attention.

Being a bit of a word nerd, I looked up key words in the original Greek on my iPad. After all, I had memorised that verse as a kid, but it was a bit different to this version. I remember ‘… a spirit of fear’ instead of ‘cowardice’, and ‘a sound mind’ instead of ‘self-discipline’. They’re similar concepts but not quite the same.

This is what I learned.

A language lesson

πνεῦμα(pneuma) is translated ‘spirit’ in 2 Timothy 1:7. It has the sense of wind, breath and spirit. I think of the English word ‘pneumonia’ or ‘pneumatic’ which both come from this Greek word.

δειλίας (deilias) is usually translated fear, timidity or cowardice. I think of the English phrase ‘dilly-dally’, which does not come from the Greek as far as I can tell. Just the same, I think it fair to say that we have NOT been given a spirit of dilly-dallying, let alone of fear, timidity or cowardice. I hope that I’m not handling the word of God irresponsibly here.

What is this spirit like, then, that God has given us? It is one of power δυνάμεως (dynameōs), from which we get the English word ‘dynamite’. It is a spirit of love ἀγάπης (agapēs) – a real deep love. And it involves σωφρονισμοῦ (sōphronismou) – self-discipline. It is this last attribute, self-discipline, into which I want to dig a little deeper.

A sound mind

According to BibleHub (an online resource for Bible study), that rather cool-sounding word, σωφρονισμοῦ (sōphronismou), generally translated ‘a sound mind’ or ‘self-discipline’, is actually a complex word made up of two root words and three grammar markers.

The main word is ‘sophron’, pronounced ‘so’-frone’. ’Sophron’ is made up of (1) ’soos’, meaning ’safe’ and ‘sound’, and (2) ‘phren’ meaning ‘an inner outlook which regulates outward behaviour’. Now I understand why it is sometimes translated ‘a sound mind’ and other times translated as ‘self-discipline’ or ‘self-control’. The compound word has the sense that our actions come from a centre where we are ‘safe and sound’. To use more modern parlance, we are ‘centred’ in God.

Women then and now

So where does all this leave me, a modern Christian women who has a tempting golden-wrapped treat in her home? Interestingly, my situation is not too different to that of older or middle-aged Christian women of Timothy’s era.

We live in very different societies and eras, but consider the way Paul used the word ‘sophron’ in another context when advising young Pastor Titus on how to pastor a network of churches on the island of Crete. Incidentally, the Cretans had a reputation, by the admission of one of their own prophets, of being ‘liars’, ‘evil beasts’ and ‘lazy gluttons’ (Titus 1:12). Yikes – what an insult. But then, when I look at the rubbish I just bought and will consume, perhaps we are not so different today … not in the gluttony aspect, anyhow.

Paul wrote, “Older women, likewise, are to be reverent in their behaviour, not slanderers or addicted to much wine, but teachers of good. 4In this way they can train the young women to love their husbands and children, 5to be self-controlled, pure, managers of their households, kind, and subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be discredited.” (Titus 2:3-5 NIV)

You might have noticed the word ‘self-controlled’ (verse 5) in the passage above. Paul uses the word σώφρονας (sōphronas) – yes, it comes from the same root word as sōphronismou, used in 2 Timothy 1:7. But that’s not the only place the ‘sophron’ word appears in the passage above.

In verse 4, the older women are told ‘to train’ the young women. The Greek word translated ‘to train’ is actually σωφρονίζωσιν (sōphronizōsin). Do you see it? There is that root word ‘sophron’ again.

Paul’s instructions are that older women should live in such a self-controlled way that their example serves to train younger women who are perhaps, er, let us say ‘exploring their boundaries’. The very presence of the older women in their lives will serve to draw the young ones back into a centre of stability, soundness, safety and balance that comes with being God’s people. The older women are to train the younger women by their self-controlled lives.

As a middle-aged Christian woman living in an era of instant gratification, I am challenged by these words. Do I live in such a way that those who watch are ‘trained’ because of my ‘sophron’ self-controlled lifestyle?

Where to now?

On the one hand, God has given us a spirit of power, love and a sound mind (2 Timothy 1:7). But on the other hand, we have a responsibility to live with self-control (Titus 2:4).

So where do I start? The following points will help me, I hope.

1. Identify unhealthy habits of instant gratification, including overusing social media, mindless snacking and dilly-dallying.

2. When tempted to indulge, wait five minutes and ask for divine help. It’s hard to intentionally do the wrong thing when you’re praying about it. That’s what is meant by the injunction to ’Walk in the light’ (1 John 1:7). If, however, I fail to withstand the temptation, I then need to confess my sin … yes, sin … as soon as possible afterwards (1 John 1:8-10).

3. Be reasonable. Chocolate and chips are okay occasionally … and very dark chocolate is almost a health food, so I am told.

4. Community is important. We aren’t expected to live the Christian life without support (Hebrews 10:24-25). Blogging about it here is helpful too.

Ask for the grace….

It’s easy enough to write about it. It’s harder to do it day by day, moment by moment. This afternoon, as I write, I have successfully resisted temptation twice – once with chocolate and once with social media. However, there is still the evening to get through. When I am tired, I am more likely to give in to temptation, whether it be in the form of unhealthy food or too much social media or gossip or something else entirely.

Having succumbed in the supermarket, the enticing treat is now in the freezer where I will forget about it for a while. Ironically, it is tucked behind frozen vegetables proudly displaying their five star health rating. One day, I shall pull it out and enjoy the treat – it will be a choice made with a sound mind.

Two millennia ago, the apostle Paul encouraged those under his watch to live self-disciplined lives. In the 21^st century, an age of instant gratification, the need to heed these words is perhaps greater than ever.

My online devotional this morning finished with the following words (see footnote 3), and so I leave them with you too:

“What would I want to ask God to rekindle in me at this present time? Ask for the grace to rely more on the power of God and the help of the Holy Spirit.”

Footnotes and references

You can read about the book I browsed but did not read here if you’re interested: https://www.australianacademicpress.com.au/books/details/316/The_Freedom_of_Virtue_Navigating_excellence_in_the_art_of_living_amongst_a_world_of_instant_gratification
All the Greek information comes from various pages on a tool I use regularly – www.biblehub.com
https://pray-as-you-go.org/player/prayer/2019-10-06