Review

It’s the end of semester and time to review. Revision is important for consolidation of learning. That’s what I tell my English language students. Their end-of-semester test is next Friday.

Saturday was, for me, a scheduled mini-retreat. It was a lovely day and I had a hankering for the beach. So I packed my journal, Bible and pen and headed to Mornington. Often a significant theme emerges when I take time like this, but this past weekend, it was more a review of lessons from the past four years. 

How do we know if God is speaking to us personally? We cannot categorically say ‘Thus says the Lord’ unless it is a direct quote from God’s Word. However, aware of the gentle nudges of God’s spirit within me, especially when I consciously stop and quieten my mind before God, I sometimes have a sixth sense of what he wants to communicate. It is nothing audible – nothing written – nothing black-and-white. 

That’s the disclaimer. Now let me share with you some lessons which I sensed God reviewed with me down on the Mornington Peninsula, near Melbourne, on Saturday. 

Walk in the light

“Walk in the light as he is in the light….” (1 John 1:7). I meditated long and hard on this verse by this same body of water about four years ago when I had just returned from Asia. I blogged about it then too*.

If you look up 1 John in your Bible, you will see that the context of this verse about walking in the light is being vulnerable about our weaknesses and sin rather than pretending to have it all together. John, the writer, urges us to admit our weaknesses and faults to God. Vulnerability is something I’ve practised plenty these past few years, with health hassles and related weaknesses.

Four years ago, I was challenged that my call was to ‘walk in the light’ rather than to go somewhere specific or be someone important. The work is God’s and not mine.

This past weekend, it seems that God had a slightly different application for me. I need to live well in the light of God, hiding nothing nor pretending to ‘have it all together’.

This was confirmed the next day.  A visiting speaker at my church preached on these words of Jesus:  “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life” (John 8:12). 

Our speaker pointed out that Jesus spoke those words to religious leaders, among others. He went on to explain that part of that call to ‘walk in the light’ is to call on the Spirit’s help to free us from habits and other things that enslave us.

 It’s not all about me, but I love it when ‘co-incidences’ such as this happen.

Time to play

I was prepared for a full day of deep and meaningful ponderings – pleasurable, yes, but not playful. However, that isn’t what happened.

Leaving the waterside for some shade and space to journal, I came across a live band on a street corner! It turns out that this weekend was the annual winter music festival in Mornington.

But I had serious work to do, so after ten minutes of soaking in the atmosphere and admiring the uninhibited dances of children in the crowd, I continued on my way.

Then I saw a movie theatre. A film I’d wanted to see and missed in my area (Red Joan – historical fiction) was playing. The next showing was about to start.  

A quick prayer and I was convinced. God was giving me a lovely gift of a day out. Who was I to say, “No thank you … my work is more important than your gift”?!

This reminded me of a lesson that I keep coming back to. ‘Ministry’ is not about me and my work. It’s about God and his work. He gives us the privilege of taking part in his work, yes, but ultimately it’s his work. 

And along the way, he blesses our socks off!

Shells

Shells have been a precious symbol to me for several years now. Their beauty, even when broken, reminds me of how God sees us. I wrote about that on another blog site a few years back*.

A year later, on a beach at Avoca (on the Central Coast of NSW), I admired shells which were firmly attached to rocks. Despite the battering of the ocean, the little creatures within those shells remained secure, not because of their own abilities, but because they clung to the immovable rock.

Here is a little haiku, written just today and inspired by the shells on rocks at Mornington:

Clinging to firm rocks 
Sea slugs in shells – weak but strong
In calm or tumult

Flight Feathers

Six months ago, flight feathers became a theme in my contemplations. I kept stumbling across them, whether in my backyard or when out walking. On a half-day retreat at Mt Dandenong (very near home), I tried to photograph a kookaburra but instead captured just his flight feathers as he took off. (That’s written up in an earlier blog post on this site.)

I was sitting quietly on a low wall on Saturday, trying to meditate on God as I watched the sun set over the bay. A seagull landed just a few feet from where I sat. I snapped a few shots on my phone camera, none of which turned out well. However, I did get reasonably clear pictures of its flight feathers and feet when it took off. I laughed to myself at the ‘bad’ photos that were special again because of the flight feathers.

Four years ago, a quote from a book jumped out at me (so it seemed) in quite significant circumstances. I have blogged about this before too*.

J.I Packer wrote, “One of the disciplines to which the Lord calls us is the willingness, from time to time, not to be used in significant ministry…. Imagine, now, a devoted and gifted Christian woman, whose ministry has been precious to her, finding that for quite a long period the Lord sidelines her so that her potential is not being used. …. The Lord is reminding her that her life does not depend on her finding that people need her…. Regarding her ministry, what matters is that she should be available to Him. Then He will decide when and how to put her to service again and she should leave that with Him.”  (J.I. Packer, 1994, Rediscovering Holiness pp199-200.) 

More seagulls swooped over the bay as the sun grew lower in the sky. Could it be that God was whispering to me, “It’s time to fly again”?  Is my period of being metaphorically ‘grounded’ coming to an end? Or was I just hearing what I wanted to hear?

Only time will tell. But it was surely no coincidence that my phone (which I had set to silent but was using as a camera) lit up right then with a significant message about planned travel in Asia later this year.

Summary

My retreat day felt like a review of the past four years. Beauty – leisure – shells – birds – the day held a healthy dose of each.

My takeaway message from the day was this:  God is on the throne. I don’t need to save the world. I just need to walk in the light, cling to the rock, and enjoy all that he has for me. And I wonder, I just wonder, if my ministry ‘usefulness’ is about to increase again. 

The review retreat day is done. I hope that the test, should there be one, is straightforward. 

(* Footnote:  I have referred a few times throughout to experiences which I wrote up in earlier blog posts on another site. That’s a blog which I kept throughout cancer treatment and which I hope to turn into a small book one day:  https://developingpassionatepatience.blogspot.com  )