Frustrations of Fallenness

There are times when frustrations to our plans serve God’s higher purposes. But there are other times when frustrations are just that … frustrations. We live in a fallen state, and fallenness can be more than a little frustrating. Let me tell you a story about this past weekend……

Months ago, I had communicated with a few friends and family members and come up with a date that worked for me to visit. It was to be a mini-holiday, a long weekend, a few days of renewing special relationships. It wasn’t cheap, but it would be worth it. I booked my tickets.

Frustrated plans

The long-anticipated day arrived. After dropping the cat and car at the home of a family member, I shouldered my backpack and headed to the airport. My stomach rumbled in anticipation … only it wasn’t anticipation. It turned out to be the beginning of a nasty gastro bug. It hit later that night. 

They say that when one tells a story, one should describe the sights, sounds and smells. I’ll spare you. Suffice to say that the first half of my time away was a write-off. 

After a couple of days of staying out of circulation, infecting only my kind host (oh no!), I was pleased to catch up with a couple of sets of friends over lunch in another town. I had planned to stay there two days, but lunch together turned out to be the best we could manage. It wasn’t just me that had been laid low. A member of every family present either had been or soon would be similarly afflicted. And it was not my fault. There is just a lot of gastro around at the moment. 

After three hours on trains and a bus, I arrived first and ordered a drink. The drink was all I got because it turned out that the cafe closed at 12 midday.  Through various messaging apps, we arranged to meet outside another well-known cafe … which turned out to have closed down altogether.  So then we arranged to meet at a third cafe … which actually worked. 

The rest of my trip went somewhat according to plan, and it was good to spend time with some special people. Lunch was lovely once we all found each other. 

Prayers of Intention

As I travelled, I have been using some Christian prayer and meditation practices suggested in a recent class. After that lunch, I left my friends and caught another train. I sat in a a ‘quiet carriage’, eyes closed, breathing deeply, and practising ‘Daily prayers of intention’. (The original questions were shared with us by a wise man, but I won’t credit him here because I’m sure he got them from somebody else originally.) I will share an abbreviated version of these prayers for your edification. I will also share my responses for your entertainment. You’re meant to spend three minutes in each area. The five areas are are in italics and bold, below.

1.  “Lord, I am here. I present myself and my will to you as my act of worship.”

Oh no, no, no,  I wanted a full weekend with friends. I wanted us all to be happy, healthy and bouncy. I don’t want to present my will to God as an act of worship. I want God to act according to my will. 

After a moment of two of muttering, I do the sensible thing and present myself and my will to God as an act of worship. I move on to the second prayer. 

2.  “Lord, I am listening. What words from Scripture or what wisdom has your Spirit been bringing to my attention lately?” 

James 4 springs immediately to mind. It’s not hard to see why. 

“Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.” Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.  Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.”     James 4:13-15 NIV

Touché.  

3. “God, whatever I do today, my identity is in you and not in anything else.” 

At least a couple of us were feeling a bit like wrung out dishcloths as we gingerly nibbled toast.  It’s good to know that we don’t need to pretend to be anything other than who we are. And who we are in Christ is very special indeed. Though being with friends sure perks me up! 

4. “Lord, what is going on in my heart right now? Search my heart and reveal anything I need to deal with.” 

I’m a reforming control freak. God is actively transforming me. Nice. I wonder if there is a Facebook support group for reforming control freaks? 

5. “Lord, how can I respond to what you are doing? Show me your will.” 

I determine to share my insights about holding our plans lightly as an element of true wisdom on Facebook. I’m now reflecting further on ‘frustrations in fallenness’ through this blog post. 

As I settle back in my train seat, the angst of upset plans … and upset stomachs … abates. 

A postscript

Although I don’t affirm the way we sometimes downplay the frustrations of living in a fallen state by looking for a silver lining in times of trouble, I do recognise and appreciate very much touches of divine mercy this past weekend. 

First, because of an error on my part, although I visited an aged care home the day I came down with the bug, the dear man I went to visit wasn’t in his room. So I left without seeing him … and potentially infecting him and introducing the bug to the whole home.  

Second, if the bug had developed just a few hours earlier, I wouldn’t have made the trip at all. 

Third, I like to think I kept the germs to myself while travelling. Had it hit halfway there, I would have been an embarrassed public hygiene hazard.

God is good. All the time. Even when things don’t turn out as I plan.