Month: December 2018

Inadequacy yet success … this has been the recurring theme of my year. How about yours?

At this time of year, I find it helpful to look back over the past twelve months. The good old Ignition ‘Examen’ exercise is helpful. Some prompts can be found in this article: https://www.ignatianspirituality.com/20131/examen-prayer-for-the-year

I won’t share all of my ‘Examen for the year’ ponderings with you. However, I would like to touch on a few highlights.

Gratitude

There is a great deal for which I am very thankful. So-called ‘work’ in 2018 has involved spending lots of time with special people in places near and dear to my heart. (Let’s not mention the admin.) I’ve had several more ‘all clear’ post-cancer checks. The study I’ve undertaken through the Melbourne School of Theology this past year has been practical and thought-provoking. Being diagnosed with a gluten sensitivity has been liberating in terms of improved health, although it makes travel more challenging. Enjoying community, getting some traction with writing and time at home have also been highlights. 

I’m well aware, however, that 2018 has been what the queen of England would call an ’annus horribilis’ for several friends. I wish desperately that things were different. One day they will be … but not yet. None of us are exempt from what these friends have been through this past year. Their experiences echo the words of the apostle Paul:

“We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption to sonship, the redemption of our bodies.” (Romans 8:22-23 NIV)

Emotions

The examen guidelines suggest that you consider emotions experienced over the past year. To my surprise, I realised that time after time after time, I had found myself feeling frustrated and inadequate, yet was happily surprised by how things turned out in the end. There is a lesson in that, don’t you think? 

‘Inadequacy yet success’ was a theme in matters including finances, time management, travel plans both at home and abroad, wanting so very much to ‘fix’ whatever I possibly could for friends who were struggling and more. I could relate story after story to illustrate this point, but will tell just one.

I wanted to travel from mid September to mid October, and had offered to help with certain activities during this time. But a medical appointment, a family celebration and a simple ‘gut feeling’ convinced me to delay my trip by a couple weeks. I felt a bit of a failure in that I was letting others down by reneging on a commitment made months earlier. And I was sad to miss what I thought would be a very special opportunity. 

Who could have foreseen that I would be in just the right place at just the right time on at least four separate occasions during that trip to support friends through … er … interesting times. And that the activities I had wanted to be there for would be cancelled for reasons quite unrelated to my changed plans. Even in my inadequacy, God brought about success … not in terms of my plans being realised, but his.

Salvation and strength … under certain conditions

As I reflected and prayed about this theme of ‘inadequacy yet success’, I was reminded of a verse which I thought I knew well … but it turns out I had been missing a phrase. 

The verse as I remembered it is this:  “In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength….” (Isaiah 30:15b NIV).  The bit I was missing, however, is a dire warning.

Consider these words of Isaiah earlier in the same chapter:

“Woe to the obstinate children,”  declares the Lord, “to those who carry out plans that are not mine….” (Isaiah 30:1a NIV, my emphasis)

And then I got to the verse I remembered … but notice the extra line I was missing earlier:

 “In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength, but you would have none of it.”  (Isaiah 30:15 NIV my emphasis)

Thankfully, Isaiah chapter 30 ends with a note of hope, because God remains faithful to his own and responds as soon as his people call out for help.

Looking back and looking forward

A sense of inadequacy is not bad, actually, because when you’re out of your depth, you rely on God. It would save wasted energy, though, if we could avoid feeling frustrated in the midst it. 

As I look back on the year, I am grateful that God has used me in a variety of ways, though not always as I had planned. As I look ahead to the new year, I am asking for the grace to recognise what God is doing in my community and eagerness to be part of his plans. It’s not that I won’t plan. It’s just that I will hold my plans lightly. 

I suspect that the theme of ‘inadequacy yet success’ will continue. Take my resolution for the new year as an example. It is typical of the new year’s resolution of many middle-aged women – an increased focus on health and fitness. To this end, I had considered buying a FitBit in the Boxing Day sales, but then decided against it because I like wearing my watch. (I didn’t want to wear both.) However, two days before Christmas, I thought I had lost my watch on a street somewhere. So I bought the FitBit and … yes, you guessed it … found the watch at home within hours of making the purchase. I hadn’t lost it after all … I’d only forgotten where I left it. I’m enjoying the FitBit and am already more active because of it. But I am also delighted to still have my pretty watch to wear from time to time. Inadequacy yet success … again.

A blessing for 2019

As 2018 rolls into 2019, I wish each of us a sense of God’s hand on our lives. May we enjoy playing a part in God’s plans.  And may we experience deep contentment, come what may in 2019. 

As God said to Israel back in Isaiah’s day, “In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength….”  But I am missing the last phrase again.

Unlike the people of Isaiah’s day, may it NOT be said ‘… but you would have none of it.” Instead, may we enjoy God’s salvation and strength, whatever the year may hold.

We all know that a fatty liver is bad for your health. But have you heard of a fatty heart?

Today I was doing some college homework … a lectio divina reading of Isaiah 6. And that’s where I found the reference to a fatty heart. 

Lectio divina is an ancient practice of reading Scripture meditatively. (See footnote 1 if you want to read more on that.) There is a lot I could have dwelt on in Isaiah 6, but the reference to a fatty heart is what caught my attention.  

My habit, when meditating on Scripture, is to read it slowly and reflectively first in English, then in Chinese, then in English again. There is a richness and freshness that comes in reading the same passage in different languages. Today is a case in point. 

Isaiah’s Awful Commission 

Poor Isaiah was given a most unenviable task. The New International Version translates his commission in this way: 

“Go and tell this people: 
Be ever hearing, but never understanding;
Be ever seeing, but never perceiving.
Make the heart of this people calloused;
make their ears dull
and close their eyes.
Otherwise they might see with their eyes,
hear with their ears,
understand with their hearts,
and turn and be healed.” (Isaiah 6:9-10 NIV – my emphasis)

In the Chinese Union Version, however, the heart of the people was not ‘calloused’ but ‘fatty’ – 心蒙脂油.  The question, of course, is what was the intended meaning of that particular word in the original language. I’m no Hebrew scholar but those who are have created tools for the rest of us.

The Hebrew word is הַשְׁמֵן֙ (pronounced ‘haš·mên’ – see footnote 2). It literally means ‘oily’ or ‘greasy’. In other parts of the Bible, the same Hebrew word is usually translated as ‘fat’ (see footnote 3). I have since realised that there are other English translations, including the King James and the American Standard versions, which also translate this word in Isaiah 6:10 as ‘fat’.

The image of a fatty heart works for me. It makes me think of fatty livers which look so sobering on TV medical documentaries.

Contexts – then and now

The original context of Isaiah’s commissioning was the Jerusalem of about 2758 years ago. This passage referred to one heart of one collective group of people – the Jews. Those ancient Israelites were in no fit state to receive God’s word. Their metaphorical hearts were fatty, their ears dull and their eyes closed.  

What was Isaiah’s responsibility? It was simply to preach. Nothing more. He could not be responsible for the response of his listeners. There is a lesson in that for me too. 

Today however, I identified more with the people to whom Isaiah was sent. In my context, a reader in the 21st century, an Australian woman who has been brought into the people of God through Jesus, what is my responsibility? 

Five centuries after this commission was given to the unfortunate prophet, another man was commissioned to bring God’s word to non-Jews like me (see Acts 9:15-16). The apostle Paul explained how we should respond to God reaching out to us. We have a responsibility to respond but, at the same time, God enables us to respond well. Paul wrote:

“… continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose.” (Philippians 2:12b-13 NIV).

Space does not permit me to follow the rabbit trail of various Greek words in this Philippians passage. I cannot help but comment, though, that unlike the ‘heart’ of the people in Isaiah 6 referring to the whole nation, the ‘you’ in the Philippians passage above is singular. The verse refers to our responses as individuals here (see footnote 4).

Our response

This particular middle-aged western woman – me – would like to sense a divine invitation from today’s meditation to work on ridding my body of some literal fat around my physical heart.  But that would be bad hermeneutics. Shocking, in fact.

Mind you, it is a good idea to work on health and fitness. I sense God’s nudging in that area and will likely make that my 2019 New Year’s resolution. That is another story which I may write up another day.

A far better response to this story – the commission given to Isaiah – would be to take seriously the warning about metaphorical fatty hearts. And so perhaps you would like to join me offering a prayer for each of us and our communities. We offer this prayer to the same holy One who commissioned Isaiah, and who chooses to use us in our communities even now in this very different age and in far-flung parts of the world.

‘As we come to your word, most holy God,
Open our eyes
that we might see,
Unstop our ears
that we might hear,
Make our hearts lean
that we might understand,
Grant that we might turn to you and be healed.’

Footnotes

1. You can read more about Lectio Divina here: http://www.eatmyword.com/alone.html
2. https://biblehub.com/isaiah/6-10.htm
3. https://biblehub.com/hebrew/strongs_8080.htm 
4. https://biblehub.com/philippians/2-13.htm

‘Hark! the Herald Angels Sing’, written by Charles Wesley, is a favourite carol of many, including me. It made it onto the TV programme ‘Carols in the Domain’ in Sydney again this year. I wonder how many of us just sing the words, though, without really dwelling on the story. I took some time today to revisit it.

Glimpses of Grandeur

Imagine being a shepherd that first Christmas Eve, sitting on a hilltop with a few fellow sheep workers.  It’s hard for me, a twenty-first century woman of the suburbs (neither a city girl nor a country girl), to have any idea of what life was like for them. I wonder if the sight of a clear night sky full of stars ever failed to mesmerise them? I always find it fascinating, but then I don’t see it too often.

Did one or two shepherds take it in turn to ‘watch their flocks by night’ (Luke 2:8) while the others napped? Or were they chatting when the angel of the Lord appeared and God’s glory shone all around then?  Whatever the case, they were terrified (Luke 2:9) … and who wouldn’t be? Can you imagine being in their sandals – hearts thumping, eyes somewhat blinded by the sudden light, hairs standing on end, and knees buckling as they tried to stand.

What language did the angel speak? Aramaic, the commonly used language of the day? Hebrew, used in religious texts? We only have written records of the announcement in Greek, the language used in the wider empire. (See footnote 1.)

Armies of Angels

The New International Version translation of the Greek describes what happened next:

“Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel….” (Luke 2:13).

Again, I am too familiar with the story to truly grasp the grandeur of this moment. It wasn’t a choir of hundreds, though that would have been special enough. It was ‘a great company of the heavenly host’.  What does that mean?

I am not a Greek scholar, but understanding some of the key words in this passage helps me sense the magnificence of the shepherds’ experience (see footnote 2). Let me share  a few insights with you.

• ‘A great company’ is the English translation of  the Greek ‘plēthos; from which we get the English word ‘plethora’. 
• ‘Heavenly’ is the English translation of the Greek ‘ouránios’ meaning ‘heavenly’ or ‘celestial’. The planet we call Uranus is actually named for a Greek deity of the sky, and comes from the same root word as what is translated ‘heavenly’ in this passage.
• ‘Host’ is the English translation of the Greek ‘stratias’, which refers to an army.  

Can you imagine the sight and sound of a choir consisting of a plethora of celestial armies?! They performed a song, the words of which have been repeated many times since in a range of languages. None, however, could come close to the pizzazz of that first rendition.

Gloria in Excelsis Deo

‘Gloria in Excelsis Deo’ is the Latin translation of the first half of the lyrics. Again, I wonder what language they originally used. And what was the melody? Given that Greek is all we have, and being a bit of a language nut, I have found it fascinating to think about the Greek lyrics (see footnote 3.)

‘Glory to God in the highest heaven’ is the New International Version translation of the first line of the angelic chorus. Let’s break that down a bit further.

• The Greek word ‘Doxa’ means ‘glory’, from which we get the word ‘doxology’.
• The Greek term for God is ‘theo’, from which we get words such as ‘theology’.
• The phrase ‘the highest heaven’ comes from a single Greek word, ‘hypsistois’, literally meaning ‘the absolute highest’.  

Imagine those shepherds, quietly quaking in the depths of their beings, gazing at a sky full of angel armies singing glory to God in the highest.

Peace on earth, goodwill to men

The translation of the second part of the angelic announcement in song is a bit tricky. The NIV translates it like this:

“…. and on earth peace to those on whom his favour rests.” (Luke 2:14)

Again, understanding the origin of some key words helps me better grasp the wonder of this message.

• ‘Earth’ is literally ‘the earth’, as opposed to, say, Mars or Jupiter. It is taken from the Greek word ‘gēs’.
• Peace is straightforward, coming from the Greek ‘eirēnē’, from which we get the lovely name ‘Irene’.
• Next, in the Greek, comes ‘anthrōpois’, meaning ‘humankind’, as opposed to other parts of creation (sorry, Puss). This is the root word of English words such as ‘anthropology’. 

The tricky part comes with the last Greek word of the song. The NIV translates the single Greed word ‘eudokias’ as ‘on whom his favour rests’. But does ‘eudokias’ describe the humans who will receive peace? Or is it a noun in its own right, and so the whole phrase is better translated ‘peace and goodwill to mankind’? It’s a question scholars have debated long and hard. These days, it is usually accepted that peace is promised to those on whose God’s favour rests.

Regardless, as Christians, we can be confident that the angelic choir announced spectacularly good news for us.

In the busyness of Christmas preparations and celebrations, may we take a moment to remember that first Christmas Eve when the angels appeared to the shepherds. This same glorious God about whom the angels sang – the one seated in the highest heavens – offers us peace through Jesus, the babe born that first Christmas night.

And so we sing:

‘Hark! the herald angels sing
“Glory to the newborn King!
Peace on earth and mercy mild
God and sinners reconciled”
Joyful, all ye nations rise
Join the triumph of the skies
With the angelic host proclaim:
“Christ is born in Bethlehem”
Hark! The herald angels sing
“Glory to the newborn King!”’

(Charles Wesley, 1739) 

1. https://zondervanacademic.com/blog/what-language-did-jesus-speak/
2. https://www.studylight.org/interlinear-bible/luke/2-13.html?lang=grk 
3. https://www.studylight.org/interlinear-bible/luke/2-14.html?lang=grk

“Free me from care for myself,” is a prayer that author Mulholland (see footnote 1) encourages readers to pray regularly.  But is this right? Shouldn’t we care for ourselves? Aren’t we meant to steward carefully the resources God has given us of abilities, possessions, opportunities, time, health, energy and more? 

This was my question today as I did some reading for college. I had a secluded table behind a cafe at the back of a plant nursery. Birds chirped. The sound of running water from a fountain in a fishpond muffled intrusive sounds of distant traffic and an air-conditioning unit. Although the air was muggy, a cool breeze provided welcome relief. Exhaust fans from the kitchen sent fried egg fragrances my way. Shades of green filled my vision – dark green ivy on the wall next to me, the grey-green of some sort of weeping fir beyond, and the fresh green of early summer leaves behind that.

This very outing was self-care, though combined with other errands along the way. Is that so wrong? 

Care

The Lord answered in a most delightful way. 

A sparrow fluttered over my Rocky Road slice, then alighted on the table. I watched it, photographed it, but did not allow it to share my treat. It hopped to the chair, down to the ground where it presumably looked for cake crumbs, then back to the table. Eventually I had to put a serviette tent over the Rocky Road slice. 

“Free my from care for myself,”  I prayed. 

Words of Jesus sprang to mind. “Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care…. So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.” (Matthew 10:29,31 NIV)

Context

When Jesus spoke those words, he was actually talking about terrible things which would happen to his followers. In the midst of all that, he explained, we should remain confident, unafraid, for our Father cares for the sparrows and cares so much more for us.

I have a few cares … imminent deadlines, unknown factors which could impact my work, concerns for others … but nothing like the terrible things that Jesus described. The truth remains though … God cares for us.

When Mulholland recommended the prayer, “Free my from care for myself,” it was in the context of teaching on the spiritual discipline of silence. He describes this ancient discipline as a “… deep inner reversal of that grasping, controlling mode of being that so characterises life in our culture.” (See footnote 2.)

Confession

I contemplated Jesus’ words about the Father’s care for sparrows and us, combined with Mulholland’s words about letting go of our own ideas, ambitions and control. I realised afresh that I stand before God with nothing of value to offer him. He knows me better than I know myself. And still he cares for me. Today he reminded me of that through these cute little sparrows for which he cares. He cares for us far more.

I confessed my attempts to control my own life, including stressing about factors beyond my control. “Free me from care for myself,” I prayed.  This is a prayer which I hope to repeat day after day for a season, at least. Mulholland writes, “If (this prayer is) used regularly … God will gradually awaken us to the multiple layers of controlling, grasping noise in our lives….”. (See footnote 3.)

Cake

Should we not care for ourselves, stewarding carefully the resources God has given us?  In a sense, yes, of course, but in another sense, no. Lack of self-care in this context is not a licence to work crazy hours or to indulge in unwise lifestyle choices. Lack of self-care in this context means taking our hands off the controls of life. It means basking in God’s care for us, even and especially in times of chaos. It means gazing at God in our lives rather than at ourselves. It sometimes means silently submitting to God’s hand in our lives rather than submitting to him lists of what we want done and when.

Our Father cares for the sparrows. 

Our Father considers us worth more than many sparrows.  

And, sometimes, our Father even gives us cake.

¹ M. Robert Mullholland Jr, ‘Invitation to a Journey: A Road Map for Spiritual Formation (Transforming Resources)’, 2016 Kindle version  p.158

² Mulholland, ‘Invitation to a Journey’  p.157

³ Mulholland, ‘Invitation to a Journey’, p.158

Frustration had been simmering just under the surface. The email, a response to a query I’d sent several days earlier, brought the frustration up to a roiling boil. The details are irrelevant. Suffice to say that it wasn’t an issue that involved friends or family. It was just an issue.

I had picked up the email just before I sat down to do my somewhat unusual homework … contemplative prayer. I am required to practise it 3-4 times a week as part of some study on missional spirituality. Usually, I love this homework, but not today. I was too cross to pray. Too distracted. I didn’t want to think wise thoughts. I just wanted to be cranky. A serious sulk beckoned.

My usual way of responding to something like this would be to get busy. Weeding the grass is a satisfying way of handling frustration. Cleaning works too. But today that wasn’t an option. I only had a small window of time for this, my homework. Why, oh why, did I check email first? 

“What is going on in your heart?”  

We are encouraged to ask this question in a prayerful attitude as part of our spirituality practicum. And so, as I entered into a time of contemplation, reverently though without restraint, I took time to tell my heavenly Father just what was going on in my heart. 

“I’m frustrated. Feeling helpless. It’s not fair. They don’t understand. But there is nothing I can do about it.” Actually, Chinese has a an apt phrase to describe what was going on in my heart. My heart was 纠结 (jiujie) – tied up in knots. The character 丝 (si) literally means silk or threads. Can you see the pictograph of two sets of threads lying neatly side by side in the character 丝？ In contrast, can you see how those threads are all tangled in the Chinese word 纠结 ? (If one must be literal, the other parts of the two characters give us an idea of the sounds. Only the threads 丝 are pictographic. But I still think that 纠结 looks like a mess of thread as well as meaning ‘tangled’. Don’t you?) 

It won’t surprise you to know that as I continued with the contemplative prayer practice, somehow, God sorted out that mess of metaphorical threads. By the time I was done, the strands in my heart were lying nicely side by side (丝 ), no longer tangled (纠结). Not only was I feeling better, I was able to pray in a mature and compassionate way for others involved in the issue too.

“What wisdom is God revealing here?”

This is another question we are to encouraged to explore as part of our homework. What springs to mind in this particular instance is Biblical teaching on how we are to manage our thought lives. 

The Bible describes the non-believer as “gratifying the cravings of our sinful nature and following its desires and thoughts” (Ephesians 2:3b). Indulging in chips and chocolate to salve the knotted heart as well as succumbing to sulking are examples of my natural responses to frustration. The context of this verse is a description of the person who follows “the ways of this world and of the ruler of the kingdom of the air, the spirit who is now at work in those who are disobedient” (Ephesians 1:2). Yikes!  That’s a bit extreme, isn’t it?

Christians are told elsewhere to “take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ” (2 Corinthians 10:5b).  That was actually written in the context of teaching about spiritual warfare and the importance of nipping problems in the bud. 

Does ‘making thoughts obedient to Christ’ mean repressing our frustration and anger? A simple glance at many of the Psalms in the Bible make it clear that no, this is most certainly not what it means. Repression would most likely be quite unhelpful. What it does mean, as I understand it, is that we open our hearts to God and let him untangle the threads of our knotted up hearts. 

The end of the story

After this particular prayer time, I felt quite pleased about the change in my heart. I jotted some notes in my journal to that effect. Yes, reflective journalling is another requirement for this practical exercise. 

And then I fired up the computer. 

To my astonishment, there was another email awaiting my attention. It had been sent as a follow-up to the earlier one which had evoked such a reaction. My predicament had already been resolved!

God doesn’t always make everything fall into place just as we want, but he did in this case. I am taking this as a metaphorical ‘gold star’ on my contemplative prayer homework. I hope that my classmates are enjoying some gold stars too. 

May I remember this lesson about letting God unknot the heart long after my essay has been submitted. (That essay will incorporate reflections on our practices of certain spiritual disciplines and show evidence of academic reading on the subject, by the way.) Writing this blog post helps reinforce my reflections too. I hope that these meandering thoughts may also be of encouragement to my fellow believers, for we are all all enrolled in God’s transformation course. Most of us don’t have to submit essays, but we all have practicums to undertake. May we support and encourage each other along the way as we become more like Jesus (2 Corinthians 3:18).

A group of giggling girls lounge on the grass, their limbs gangly, their heads huddled together. “I need a rich husband who likes animals,” I overhear one say. “I want a small farm with horses and dogs.” 

Life doesn’t always turn out as we hope. I think back to when I held similar aspirations, 35 years ago now, although the specifics were a little different. Is it harder being a teenager these days, I wonder, with the pressures of social media, possibilities of cyber bullying and the media’s role models far from good? In different ways during different times, it has always been challenging to be a teenager, full of hopes and fears and flooded with hormones. 

What was it like for teenagers two millennia ago? At this time of year, my thoughts go to Mary, mother of our Lord. I think of choices that were made for her as well as by her. Times were different then, but there are still points of connection with teens of today. 

Thank God for a godly older woman who invested in the teenage Mary at a most crucial stage in her identity formation.

Identity crisis

Mary was clearly a devout Jew, for the angel Gabriel greeted her as “You who are highly favoured!” (Luke 1:26).  Yet just when she thought she knew who she was and what role she was to play in society, a good virgin girl promised to a respectable man, her world was turned upside-down.

In an act of kindness, the angel Gabriel did not leave Mary alone to come to terms with her newly announced identity as mother of God’s own son. As he left, he handed her a lifeline. “Elizabeth your relative is going to have a child in her old age….” (Luke 1:36). 

Scripture tells us that Mary immediately gathered a few things and hurried to Elizabeth’s home in the countryside (Luke 1:39). I wonder how much she explained to her parents, her peers or her betrothed before she left. Did she travel alone? What went through her mind along the way? Was she excited? Scared? Numb?

Identity formation

Elizabeth, an older woman, wasn’t seeing anybody. In her womb she carried a precious life … a miracle baby … a divine gift. Scripture records that Elizabeth remained in seclusion for five months  (Luke 1:24) … until breathless Mary burst into her home. 

A devout Jew, the wife of a priest, Elizabeth was sensitive to God at work. As soon as she heard Mary’s voice, she was filled with God’s Spirit and spoke powerful words of affirmation into Mary’s life. Buoyed up by her relative’s prophecy, Mary responded with words that have since been repeated for generations. (‘Mary’s Magnificat’ is what we call those words today.) 

These two godly women, one older and one young, spent an incredibly special period of their lives together – the first trimester of Mary’s pregnancy and the last of Elizabeth’s. I can only imagine that they marvelled together at how God was breaking into history, retelling over and over the stories of how the angel Gabriel first appeared to Elizabeth’s husband and later to Mary, reciting over and over every word he had spoken, and marvelling over and over at the events that followed. In those three short months, simply by sharing life together, Elizabeth perhaps unknowingly grounded her young relative in her identity. She prepared her for all that was ahead – the shame of returning home as yet unmarried but with a bulging belly, the disappointment of being doubted, years of worry, a season of refugee status and excruciating heartbreak.

A timeless pattern

Just as God used an older godly woman, Elizabeth, to build into Mary’s life and affirm her identity as a chosen and favoured servant of the Lord, so he has done for others through the centuries. The Old Testament has many stories of older followers of God building into the lives of younger ones. The apostle Paul would later instruct older Christian women in particular to live exemplary lives and teach younger Christian women to do likewise (Titus 2:3-6). This is a pattern that applies to us in the 21st century too.

I particularly admire Elizabeth’s openness to what God was doing in Mary’s life despite what was going on in her own life. At the time that Mary burst into her house, Elizabeth had been in intentional seclusion, soaking in the wonder of her own unlikely pregnancy.  As an older Christian woman today who enjoys a myriad of meaningful activities, I wonder how God would turn my attention to others and speak into their lives. May I be open to what he is doing and not begrudge the focus it takes from my own matters.

Elizabeth didn’t go looking for Mary. The angel Gabriel all but sent Mary scurrying to Elizabeth. Yet Elizabeth did not treat Mary’s visit as an unwelcome intrusion into her seclusion, but communicated clearly that she saw it as a great honour. Elizabeth was a godly woman and thus primed to recognise God’s hand at work. May I also live as well as I can, not being busy for busy’s sake, open to who God would bring into my life.

I look at that group of 21st century teens huddled together on the lawn, dreaming of the future. None of these teenagers has been sent by an angel to my doorstep for affirmation. But there are other women I spend time with in various contexts. May I be aware of what God is doing in the lives of those around me as well as in my own life. May I live well as a godly woman, not scheduling every moment of every day but leaving room for the unexpected. And as I do so, may I too be given the honour of playing a role in the identity formation of my younger relatives in the Lord. 

‘Father’. This word – this concept – was to be my focus for today’s prayer time. I sat on the porch, the cat by my feet, my phone on the table beside me with the ‘prayer app’ open. Quiet music started. The timer was set for 20 minutes. The air was heavy with humidity. 

The cat was easily distracted by jasmine petals which fluttered down in a sudden breeze. Not so me. Not externally anyhow. Inwardly, thoughts of the day kept fluttering about, but each time I bid them go and returned to focus on my heavenly Father.

A few drops of rain hit the UV-filter-perspex above me. The cat moved to sit right under my seat. Then the heavens opened and sheets of rain crashed to earth. The cat disappeared … no doubt she was cowering under the bed inside. Although I tried to focus on my heavenly Father, it was quite exhilarating to sit on the porch through it all. I was dry and protected. It felt like being kept safe in the embrace of our all-powerful Father even as the world was battered. 

Later, the TV news would report that 31mm of rain (1.22 inches) had fallen in just 15 minutes. Fancy choosing that exact time for my Christian meditation practice. I couldn’t even hear the timer on the prayer app alerting me to the end of the 20 minutes, it was raining so hard.

I had been protected through the storm, but not so my garden. Yet to my astonishment, the flowers in the backyard were more glorious than ever – the rain drops enhanced their beauty. Admittedly, they wouldn’t have survived certain other adverse conditions, but this torrential downpour, at least, hadn’t damaged them. Indeed, they had fared much better than the cars I later saw on the TV news which had been caught in floodwaters, or the trains on the line to my side of the city which came to a grinding halt as tracks flooded. 

How did these delicate flowers survive this storm? The answer, of course, is that they are just part of bigger plants, each of which is rooted firmly in the ground. If Jesus were standing in my garden today, he may well have told a story about my backyard flowers. He did once tell a similar tale in a Middle Eastern setting about a grape vine, likening his hearers to the branches, himself to the vine, and his Father to the gardener (John 15). The point of the story was to urge his listeners to abide in him, to be tended by his Father, and so, in him, to bear much fruit. 

My flowers are tougher than they look. They’re tougher than cars and trains in my area when it comes to coping with a sudden downpour.  When I am abiding in Jesus, cared for by the Divine Gardener, I too am tougher than I appear. 

I prefer to sit under the shelter during summer storms. I like to stay dry. In the metaphorical storms of life, however, that isn’t always possible. Yet come what may, as we abide in Jesus, tended by our Divine Father, we need not fear. Indeed, it may even be that the storms of life will somehow serve to enhance our beauty and so bring glory to our Father.

As part of a current exploration of spiritual disciplines, I’m enjoying ‘centering prayer’. This is an ancient way of praying in which you keep coming back to a key word or phrase and otherwise remain silent in the presence of God. The intention is that you listen to God rather than just talk and talk and talk at him. It’s not as easy as it sounds, but very helpful. 

Yesterday, I practised ‘centering prayer’ using a Scripture which had come up in my daily reading:  “The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth” (Isaiah 40:28b). 

But the fence kept playing on my mind. 

I had set myself up to enjoy a fine Melbourne day as I practised centering prayer. A faded terracotta-red outdoor cushion protected me from the freshly-cut grass. The cat was curled up next to me. My neighbour’s young chickens are learning to cluck, and their calls blended with those of other birds high up in the trees. 

I was ready.

Hands on my lap, palms up, the timer on my phone set so that I can’t wimp out early from this period of worship, I settle down for just ten minutes. All I want to do is to focus on the Lord, the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth, for ten short minutes. 

But I keep thinking about the fence. 

I have five neighbours and share ownership of four fences, despite only having a small backyard. One fence is in danger of falling down. The neighbours and I agree that we want to put off the inevitable for as long as possible. One day, it will need to be replaced. And that won’t be cheap. 

That is not a problem for today. 

So why do thoughts of the fence keep filling my mind? I bid them go away and return again to Scripture. “The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth.” 

As the ten minutes progress, my thoughts flit between the fence and worship. “The Lord is the everlasting God……”

It occurs to me that the Lord created this little piece of earth on which I sit. He saw this land when it was untouched Australian bushland. He saw this land when local people, who first called this land ‘Mooroolbark’, made this their home, though not for them constraining little blocks with five neighbours and four fences. He saw this land when the current fence was first built. He sees this land now. And he already knows what is ahead. One day, when the Creator redeems all creation, fences won’t be needed. In that day, we will live in harmony with one another, neighbourhood cats included. 

I finish my ten minutes of centering prayer. I may not have practised centering prayer quite perfectly, but I have come out of it with a realigned perspective. Temporary worries such as the rotting fence fade into insigificance. It’s not a big deal, because ‘The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth.’ 

There are times when frustrations to our plans serve God’s higher purposes. But there are other times when frustrations are just that … frustrations. We live in a fallen state, and fallenness can be more than a little frustrating. Let me tell you a story about this past weekend……

Months ago, I had communicated with a few friends and family members and come up with a date that worked for me to visit. It was to be a mini-holiday, a long weekend, a few days of renewing special relationships. It wasn’t cheap, but it would be worth it. I booked my tickets.

Frustrated plans

The long-anticipated day arrived. After dropping the cat and car at the home of a family member, I shouldered my backpack and headed to the airport. My stomach rumbled in anticipation … only it wasn’t anticipation. It turned out to be the beginning of a nasty gastro bug. It hit later that night. 

They say that when one tells a story, one should describe the sights, sounds and smells. I’ll spare you. Suffice to say that the first half of my time away was a write-off. 

After a couple of days of staying out of circulation, infecting only my kind host (oh no!), I was pleased to catch up with a couple of sets of friends over lunch in another town. I had planned to stay there two days, but lunch together turned out to be the best we could manage. It wasn’t just me that had been laid low. A member of every family present either had been or soon would be similarly afflicted. And it was not my fault. There is just a lot of gastro around at the moment. 

After three hours on trains and a bus, I arrived first and ordered a drink. The drink was all I got because it turned out that the cafe closed at 12 midday.  Through various messaging apps, we arranged to meet outside another well-known cafe … which turned out to have closed down altogether.  So then we arranged to meet at a third cafe … which actually worked. 

The rest of my trip went somewhat according to plan, and it was good to spend time with some special people. Lunch was lovely once we all found each other. 

Prayers of Intention

As I travelled, I have been using some Christian prayer and meditation practices suggested in a recent class. After that lunch, I left my friends and caught another train. I sat in a a ‘quiet carriage’, eyes closed, breathing deeply, and practising ‘Daily prayers of intention’. (The original questions were shared with us by a wise man, but I won’t credit him here because I’m sure he got them from somebody else originally.) I will share an abbreviated version of these prayers for your edification. I will also share my responses for your entertainment. You’re meant to spend three minutes in each area. The five areas are are in italics and bold, below.

1.  “Lord, I am here. I present myself and my will to you as my act of worship.”

Oh no, no, no,  I wanted a full weekend with friends. I wanted us all to be happy, healthy and bouncy. I don’t want to present my will to God as an act of worship. I want God to act according to my will. 

After a moment of two of muttering, I do the sensible thing and present myself and my will to God as an act of worship. I move on to the second prayer. 

2.  “Lord, I am listening. What words from Scripture or what wisdom has your Spirit been bringing to my attention lately?” 

James 4 springs immediately to mind. It’s not hard to see why. 

“Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.” Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.  Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.”     James 4:13-15 NIV

Touché.  

3. “God, whatever I do today, my identity is in you and not in anything else.” 

At least a couple of us were feeling a bit like wrung out dishcloths as we gingerly nibbled toast.  It’s good to know that we don’t need to pretend to be anything other than who we are. And who we are in Christ is very special indeed. Though being with friends sure perks me up! 

4. “Lord, what is going on in my heart right now? Search my heart and reveal anything I need to deal with.” 

I’m a reforming control freak. God is actively transforming me. Nice. I wonder if there is a Facebook support group for reforming control freaks? 

5. “Lord, how can I respond to what you are doing? Show me your will.” 

I determine to share my insights about holding our plans lightly as an element of true wisdom on Facebook. I’m now reflecting further on ‘frustrations in fallenness’ through this blog post. 

As I settle back in my train seat, the angst of upset plans … and upset stomachs … abates. 

A postscript

Although I don’t affirm the way we sometimes downplay the frustrations of living in a fallen state by looking for a silver lining in times of trouble, I do recognise and appreciate very much touches of divine mercy this past weekend. 

First, because of an error on my part, although I visited an aged care home the day I came down with the bug, the dear man I went to visit wasn’t in his room. So I left without seeing him … and potentially infecting him and introducing the bug to the whole home.  

Second, if the bug had developed just a few hours earlier, I wouldn’t have made the trip at all. 

Third, I like to think I kept the germs to myself while travelling. Had it hit halfway there, I would have been an embarrassed public hygiene hazard.

God is good. All the time. Even when things don’t turn out as I plan. 

“Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you.” (Psalm 73:25 NIV)

That verse puts my chocolate cravings into perspective. 

I pray these words of Scripture as I walk around a small local lake. As I begin my walk, I am reminded of the people in heaven whom I am very much looking forward to seeing. And there are a great many things which I desire on earth – success, significance, harmony within my community and, of course, a little bit of chocolate from time to time.

In the same way that I am often short-sighted in how I view ‘reality’, the writer of this psalm was also limited in perspective. The psalmist had been seduced into envying those who seemed to have everything, but in writing this prayer, he was able to refocus.

Through praying this beautiful prayer with the ancient Jews for whom it was first penned and chanted by generations since, our perspectives can also be realigned with reality. We glimpse a bigger picture. God is in heaven. That is what matters. And that fact impacts us, his people here on earth.

(And yes, I know that God is omnipresent. Yet the Bible also portrays him as being in heaven, seated on the throne. The Trinity is a bit of a mind-bender.)

 

Heaven – the place where God reigns

Heaven is referred to throughout Scripture as the place where God rules. This is reflected, for example, in the prayer Jesus taught us which includes the line, “Your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven” (Matthew 6:10).

From time to time, glimpses of heaven have been given to mere mortals. Examples include the heavenly courtroom scenes of Job’s day, Jacob’s dream of the heavens opened and a ladder connecting heaven and earth, the 72 elders who glimpsed heaven in Moses’ day, the visions of Daniel and Ezekiel, the heavens opening and a voice speaking at Jesus’ baptism, and of course the visions given in the revelation to the apostle John. 

And there is even more!

 

Hope of heaven

Heaven is a resting place for the spirits of God’s people who have died, and so much more. God’s people are promised that when we are ‘absent from the body’,  we will be ‘present with the Lord’ (2 Corinthians 5:8). Knowing that we go to be with our Lord gives us tremendous comfort. But there is more besides.

The Bible portrays God enthroned in heaven, but promises that Jesus will return to judge the living and the dead and to usher in his new creation. Heaven and earth will be united, just as a bride and a groom are made one. God will rule in his new creation.

It is a mystery to me as to how it all works, but when Jesus rose from the dead in a physical flesh-and-blood body, he guaranteed that we, his people, will one day be given resurrection bodies too. I wonder what we will look like? How will we act? Will we all be super-smart? We will all be healthy and whole.

We will be given meaningful roles to play in that day too. We will be set up for success, assured of significance and we will live in harmony with all creation. Will there be chocolate in the new creation? If so, it will definitely be ethically sourced. 

 

Tricky questions

I don’t know about you, but I have a lot of questions about heaven that the Bible does NOT answer. Whatever happened to Enoch and Elijah who didn’t die but were taken to be with God? What does Scripture mean when it says that many of the ancients were ‘gathered to their fathers’? How could Samuel’s spirit be summoned from the grave by the witch of Endor? How literal was the story that Jesus told of Lazarus and the rich man? What did Jesus mean when he spoke of ‘Abraham’s bosom’? What was Paul was talking about when he spoke of a man going to the ‘third heaven’?  

My questions reflect a limited perspective. Imagine asking the small child of a molecular biologist what her parent does for a job.  Perhaps that is a bit like asking me about heaven.

 

 

In the meantime, as best I can, I will keep focused on the big picture. Heaven is where God reigns. Heaven is a sure hope for God’s people. My hope of heaven impacts how I live in the here-and-now. Although I often lose focus, as a follower of God, I can pray together with the Psalmist and so realign my perspective along with God’s people through the ages: 

“Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you.” (Psalm 73:25 NIV)