Does God speak within the myriad of details of the lives of countless people, both today and across the ages? Is it self-centred to think that the Almighty would have anything particular for me, an ordinary Australian Christian woman, right here and now?
When I’m sitting in the quiet of my own little backyard, I feel ‘special’ to God. But when I travel the world, I realize afresh just how little I am. My story is one of billions, and the stories of today are only a flicker amongst the stories of people across all time.
Spacious places
Air travel is incredible. Imagine squeezing 400+ people into a narrow metal tube and propelling it halfway across the world. Just after midnight on Monday morning, I boarded a flight bound for Malaysia, after which I would go on to Thailand.
It was a good flight. Even so, stretching my legs in the spacious airport at Kuala Lumpur was lovely. I had six hours in transit and so, being a good Christian woman, sat down to read God’s word and pray. Over coffee, of course.
The fragrant drink was just what I needed to help me focus. To my right, a westerner sat in a lotus position, hands resting on her knees, palms up, index finger and thumb joined and eyes closed. The table in front of me was occupied by a Muslim couple, the woman covered from head to toe except for her round face and hands, which showed. They were enjoying toasted sandwiches. I offered a prayer as I got underway.
“Thank you, Lord, that you are here.” I opened the Bible app on my iPad. A particular prayer jumped out of the screen at me, or so it seemed. ‘You brought me out into spacious places.’ (This is in both Psalm 31:8 and 2 Samuel 22:20 – I read it in Psalm 31 then used the cross-reference feature of the app to read the prayer in 2 Samuel too.) Did this ‘spacious places’ prayer feel significant because I had just spent a night in a cramped airplane, or was there more to it? Could it be a particular message for me right here right now?
Being a well-educated Christian woman, I know that ‘a text without a context is a pretext’. (I wish I could credit that quote but have forgotten where I heard it.) In both cases, the ‘spacious places’ phrase came in the context of King David having been rescued from difficult times by an all-powerful God.
This trip is special to me in that I have just formally returned to being part of a particular community of cross-cultural workers focused on one part of Asia. I’m on my way to join colleagues for our annual gathering. Could God be saying to this little Australian woman seated in a coffee shop in Asia, preparing for a fresh chapter of service, “I have brought you out into spacious places”? Oh, I hope so. I dare not take that verse out of context, but if God were to communicate that message in other ways, that would be just fine.
An unusual and unwanted discipline
Rewind 2 ½ years. I was sitting in a doctor’s waiting room – one of many times of waiting during a difficult period of life in which I underwent cancer treatment. Another passage jumped off the page at me that day, not from the Bible, but from a book written by a man of God. I took it as God’s gentle touch.
One of the disciplines to which the Lord calls us is the willingness, from time to time, not to be used in significant ministry…. Imagine, now, a devoted and gifted Christian woman, whose ministry has been precious to her, finding that for quite a long period the Lord sidelines her so that her potential is not being used. … It is … a lesson in Christ’s school of holiness. The Lord is reminding her that her life does not depend on her finding that people need her. The prime source of her joy must always be the knowledge of God’s love for her…. Regarding her ministry, what matters is that she should be available to Him. Then He will decide when and how to put her to service again and she should leave that with Him.
J.I. Packer, Rediscovering Holiness, pp.199-200 Servant Publications, 1994
I feel as if I have been ‘treading water’ in terms of ministry these past couple of years. Yes, I’ve been involved in interesting and useful things, and I hope that I have been a good steward of the resources invested in me. But I have also consciously worked at not being busy. Becoming healthy again after a fairly significant ‘whack’ from surgery, radiation and chemotherapy as well as a couple of nasty infections has been my primary focus.
I was reminded of ‘the discipline not to be used in significant ministry for a time’ in the Kuala Lumpur airport because of another blog post (in the Velvet Ashes community) which I read while there. I hunted about for the J.I. Packer quote to share with women in that online community. Even as I did so, I wondered about the relationship between it and my ‘spacious places’ reading. Could it possibly be that the time has come for God to put me back into significant service again? If that is so, I am determined to remember that my identity must be in being part of his kingdom and not in my work.
‘A word’
The day after receiving the ‘spacious places’ insight in the Kuala Lumpur airport, I was walking in a magnificent tropical garden with a good friend. We were somewhat lost when we met the random American. We weren’t worried, but we were ready for some refreshments.
We stood at a lakeside coffee bar, looking at the menu board. The young man was sitting on a bench, sipping coconut milk from a whole coconut with the top cut off. In front of him was an open Bible and a notebook. “Excuse me,” he said, “but can I just say that God’s Spirit is on you?”
It turns out that he was staying at the same hotel and had seen us at breakfast. I hadn’t noticed him, but my friend had. He had been looking at us quite intently, she later told me. The young man had sensed that God had a message for him to give us, but he wasn’t confident enough to approach us at the time. And here we were again, just two hours later. He took this ‘coincidence’ as a divine nudge.
“You are a well where others can go to be replenished. You are also a mobilizer for prayer. You build up God’s people. Does that make sense?” I was both reassured and slightly dismayed. I want to do ‘frontline work’ during this chapter of life. In my 20+ years of cross-cultural work, time and time again, after serious prayer, I end up supporting other believers. Those roles have included member care, language learning support, mobilization, training, hosting short-term workers, discipleship and more. Mind you, getting people to pray for God’s kingdom to come to places where it is currently unknown is something I am convinced is God’s particular commission for me right now. That line was encouraging. And I’ve recently agreed to serve my team in a couple of other behind-the-scene roles. Perhaps this IS God’s role for me right now, rather than just an added extra.
The random American went on to share a message for my friend that was very much in line with other things she has been hearing recently. Then he spoke about our friendship – a special friendship that is divinely ordained (another story) – and he was spot on. Do his words have the same authority as Scripture? Of course not. But it does seem like he has been given ‘words of knowledge’ for us. How special.
Within a day of receiving these words, I received three affirmations from women I have somehow influenced by words or example. I’m honoured and humbled at the same time. Who am I, an ordinary middle-aged Australian woman, to be used by Holy God to build up his people?
Could it be that the timing of these kind words is God’s way of confirming this word passed on by a random young man? ‘You are a well where others can go to be replenished,” he had said. “You build up God’s people.”
What next?
I ardently hope that the season of life in which I was metaphorically squished into a cramped corner is over. I’m thinking of the past couple of years as I recovered from treatment and focused on getting healthy again. I would be delighted to move now into a season of ‘spacious places’.
If the random American is right, God wants to use me to build up his people and to mobilize prayer. A little bit of front line action would be nice, and I’m already enjoying a taste of that. At the same time, as J.I. Packer pointed out, how and when God chooses to use me is his call.
I have more than a sneaking suspicion that a new season is ahead – a season of spacious places.
Watch this space.